“In That Case”
alone with the complimentary body lotion- naked butt jutted out
- one I like to call “Catfish
- subtly impressive aquatic flourishes
- to meet the medical fellows
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“In that case,” the ambassador said, “you’ll be pleased to hear that tonight’s event has been catered by a Swiss company. Dessert will be working timepieces built entirely out of chocolate.”
Seeing that the potential faux pas had passed without dooming us, my mind returned to the question of Ursula. I was more sure than ever that my inability to recall anyone of that name was a sign that my memory had been tampered with. I wanted to be able to focus on this problem, wanted it the way I always wanted to be alone with the complimentary body lotion upon checking into a swanky hotel. But I had to keep alert and perform my interpretive duties.
A ruckus broke out on the other side of the spacious lobby, where one of the silly armadillo modesty appliqués had dropped from a statue in a fountain. Now its naked butt jutted out, and from it water jetted out. Dignitaries in wilting finery scrambled to escape the spray.
The ambassador nudged me and dropped me a wink. He revealed a small pushbutton device in his hand, then whispered, “Gotta liven these snoozefests up somehow. I have lots of fun tricks up my sleeve. This one I like to call ‘Catfish in Espadrilles,’ for obvious reasons.” He did something else with the remote control, and the stream from the statue’s patootie took on subtly impressive aquatic flourishes, spelling out various Colloquillian profanities in elaborate cursive letters. The sopping attendees near ground zero broke into applause.
“Enough culture,” Fleur said. “On to business.” She nodded at me, then quickly rolled her eyes in exasperation. I realized that she’d wanted me to handle the explanation, but she hadn’t told me what she had in mind. At least, I had no *memory* of it.
Rather than pull me aside to confer, she plowed ahead. She told the ambassador, “It’s time I took you to meet the medical fellows, if you know what I mean.”
bonus points for using them in order