“I’m Not Leaving This Pod”
with a warrant and a helicopter- seven totally different stories
- (slightly less enthusiastically, to be honest)
- strange yet becoming coiffure
- “I swallowed it,”
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“I’m not leaving this pod unless you come back with a warrant and a helicopter that will take me away from this doomed gasbag,” John said petulantly.
“You’re the one who doomed it!” I yelled, wondering why his list of demands didn’t include clean pants.
“Am I?” He squinted at me. “Or is someone trying to frame me? If you ask seven different people what happened you’ll hear seven totally different stories. Those people will be happy to assure you their version is the truth, and I’ll say mine is too (slightly less enthusiastically, to be honest).”
“Why are you stalling?” I demanded.
“Do you think I want to be here?” John whimpered. “Do you think I was eager to sign up for this mission? Knowing it meant I would die on a zeppelin? But the orders were delivered by a fetching operative with a strange yet becoming coiffure, who convinced me it’s an important assignment and my fate is small in comparison. Harmonia and Contraria getting into a skirmish won’t even make headlines. But this thing getting blown out of the sky with a Plentylvanian noblewoman on board? Amid so much Svenborgian intrigue of late? That will alter the course of history!”
I shook my head in disgust. “You got played. I mean, does anyone else even know there’s a Plentylvanian on board this vessel?” I skipped over the part where I hadn’t known about it myself until ten seconds ago. “John, they teach this stuff first year at The Academy. Why would you swallow such an obvious ruse?”
“I swallowed it,” he began, “because…”
Whatever he was about to say was drowned out by klaxons.
bonus points for using them in order