“If You Have Nutella”
has been immortalized- not in any way compromise your sister
- my trembling subsided
- Some say he’s dead, some say he never will be.
- If you have Nutella
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“If you have Nutella, that’ll make my job much easier,” I said. The Tessabot elbowed me in the ribs. The sight of the cake was making me shake with revulsion.
I was granted a brief reprieve from putting any of the alleged cake into my mouth when one of the random Svenborgian nobles stood up and raised his glass. I surmised this was the best man about to deliver his speech.
“Is there anything left to say about marriage?” he declaimed airily. “The bride is lovely, and so let us say nothing further about her, because it would all have to be nice and where’s the fun in that? Now, the groom is a different story. This groom in particular, but by Svenborgian tradition all men pass, in marriage, into a realm of mystery as they become, evermore, ‘The husband.’ Some say he’s dead, some say he never will be. I say he’ll be fine as long as his lovely bride never finds out about last October!”
Was it also Svenborgian tradition to do a roast rather than a toast? Regardless, my trembling subsided as I mentally rehearsed the sleight of hand I would employ to avoid tasting that foul confection. I leaned to Tessa and whispered, “You know I would not in any way compromise your sister.”
She laughed, plausibly at something the best man had just said. She looked into my eyes, hers twinkling with merriment. “That’s not how she tells it. Her taste in ‘compromise’ with you has been immortalized in a limerick. Now cut the fucking cake before I recite it.”
bonus points for using them in reverse order