If I had a Nickel
highly flammable-looking outfits- had a cousin reach out to me with a similar offer about some family secrets
- Do you deny this?
- honors bestowed upon me by three republics
- jelly-like substance
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If I had a nickel for every time my happiness was derailed by villains in highly flammable-looking outfits, I would be a rich man. Zeus Pamplemousse thought he was so special in his cape of moon-velvet. He thought he could kidnap Tessa and blackmail her by threatening the life of her therapist? Not on my watch! I had a cousin reach out to me with a similar “offer” about some family secrets once upon a time, emphasis on “had.” I know how to deal with blackmailers. That particular cousin won’t be spilling any family secrets after all, if you catch my meaning. I leapt across the bed to fetch my uniform trousers. Nudists streaking through the corridors were not unheard of on Contrarian airships, but I am a general and have to project an aura of authority. It’s possible to do that naked, but it takes an awful lot of glaring and I was exhausted.
Fleur waddled out of the bathroom, a soggy infant on each hip. “Who am I braver than?”
“What?” I struggled with my zipper.
“I heard you tell someone quite emphatically that I am braver than they are. Do you deny this?”
“Of course not. I have had honors bestowed upon me by three republics, and I have the medals to prove it. I deny nothing.”
“So who am I braver than?” She was much more coherent than she’d been in the tub.
“Zeus Pamplemousse,” I muttered and headed for the door, shirt in hand.
“Zeus Pamplemousse is here?” Fleur’s face drained of color and her complexion resembled a jelly-like substance. Before she could faint, I snatched the babies from her arms. “I was so sure I’d never see him again after what happened last time.”
bonus points for using them in order