I’d Be Lying If I Claimed
buy myself flowers- “Rodney! You can’t be here!”
- the use of obscene languages
- mermaid-themed birthday parties
- “Hm,” said the voice.
Tune in next time part 438 Click Here for Earlier Installments
I’d be lying if I claimed to derive no pleasure from enacting the ceremony with Yesterday, but it was a relief nevertheless to send all five people away from my bedchamber and have a few moments of solitude. The import of what had just transpired slowly soaked in, and when I realized how auspicious it could be I decided to buy myself flowers. Then I decided that could wait, and I stretched out on my bed to doze a bit.
A shrill voice woke me, yelling, “Rodney! You can’t be here!”
This was how I learned that the fox had a name. The person shrilly yelling at Rodney wore the uniform of the fortress’s groundskeeping force, the Enigmatic Gardeners. He was squirming under my bed, apparently attempting to wrangle the fox through the use of obscene languages and awkward bodily movements.
I cleared my throat. The groundskeeper sprang to his feet and saluted. “Terribly sorry, General. I didn’t expect you to be in your chambers at such an hour.”
Although there was a voice in my head urging me to wreak dire punishment on this man for his insubordination, I decided to keep things simple. “Leave the fox alone, and get out of here,” I said with a sigh.
“At least you’ll still have the fox this way,” said the voice in my head.
“Sorry again, General. Rodney is needed in the courtyard, for the Spring Scampering.” He registered my baffled expression and explained. “It’s much like a maypole dance, but the ribbons are affixed to helper animals like our Rodney. It’s an important festival, and is one of the two reasons that Enigma Fortress has such a grand courtyard. The other being, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, hosting mermaid-themed birthday parties. Make a right mint off those, yes sir!”
“Hm,” said the voice.
bonus points for using them in order