“I Want Him Back for the Same Reason I Married Him”
- one thing led to another
- tempt you into sleeping with your ex
- with tantric sex thrown in
- the madman could have still been in the house
- up to my ankles in long wet grass
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“I want him back for the same reason I married him in the first place,” said Marnie. “Revenge.”
Svetlana gasped. Heinrich chortled and scratched his belly. Marnie explained that her family and her husband’s had been feuding for generations and that their marriage was actually an elaborate ploy on both sides to wreak havoc. She went into great detail and I got a little bored with her tale, and one thing led to another, and eventually I confronted the trio in the clearing.
Svetlana’s eyes lit up when she saw me. Heinrich said, “Ignore him, sweeting, he’s merely going to try to tempt you into sleeping with your ex.”
“We were never a couple,” I said.
“It wouldn’t take much to tempt me,” Svetlana said. “I quite enjoyed our last romp.”
“I don’t have time right now,” I lied. I needed to find a way out of this garden if I wanted to get back to my life, whatever my life looked like now.
Svetlana rose to her feet and began a swaying, hypnotic dance. She approached me while Heinrich grumbled and scratched his belly some more. “Could I tempt you,” Svetlana asked, “with tantric sex thrown in? I’ve learned a few things since the last time we were together.” She pressed herself against my bare chest and I could not resist. We tumbled together into a hollow beneath the shrubberies for a rousing game Svetlana called The Madman and the Housekeeper. I was the housekeeper.
At some point Marnie joined us. The madman could have still been in the housekeeper’s headlock at that point, but I can’t remember for sure. It went on for a very long time, and was very invigorating. Finally Heinrich called, “Svetlana, are you about done? We need to get going.”
Svetlana arched her back and replied, “I’m up to my ankles in long wet grass! Give me a moment!”
She being a contortionist, Svetlana’s ankles weren’t currently located where you might suppose, which made her comment about the grass a little more impressive.
bonus points for using them in order