I Suppose I Have No Choice
having an extra nipple- drink to the devil
- Rubenstein was furious
- had it not been for the indefatigable efforts of the assiduous Goodwin
- his manhood in public
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“I suppose I have no choice,” I said. “What is it you want me to do?”
“There is far too much explaining needed,” Svetlana simpered, seeming oddly aroused by the prospect. “We can’t just stand around out here.”
The nefarious duo led me to Lonelyhearts, a bar within the park. When I questioned the idea of so visibly pregnant a woman going in there, they brushed the objection aside. I thought we would at least find a shadowy corner table, but they went directly to the barstools.
Svetlana batted her eyes at the bartender and said, “Heinrich here will be having an extra nipple, a slippery one that is. Plus whatever he wants for himself.” She pointed past Heinrich to me. “Paying for your drink is the least we can do. Just toast me.” She winked.
“Bourbon, neat,” I said. When you’re on your way to hell, you might as well drink to the devil.
Svetlana hadn’t been lying about there being a lot to explain. An hour later, Heinrich was still laying out the background. “Rubenstein was furious, and had it not been for the indefatigable efforts of the assiduous Goodwin all our worst fears might have come true.”
“What do Rubenstein and Goodwin have to do with anything?” I asked.
“Nothing. They’re retired. I just wanted you to understand where we’re coming from.”
I counted the glasses on the bar, feeling a bit dizzy. Heinrich’s tolerance appeared to far exceed mine, as his eyes and speech remained clear despite double my number of drinks.
“Now, I have to explain to you about the ninja factions we have today. They trace to ninth-century Japan…”
Heinrich rambled for several more rounds of whisky. When he stopped, the sudden quiet was like an alarm clock going off. He looked over his shoulder at Svetlana and said, “I believe our little apparatchik is ready to prove his manhood in public.”
bonus points for using them in order