I Knelt To Assist Jim
running towards us with a test-tube in his hand- just for the hell of it
- with thick lemon frosting
- remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue
- and sequins in a plastic bag
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I knelt to assist Jim with his panda-head, but just then I spotted a man in a white lab coat running towards us with a test-tube in his hand. “Don’t remove that head!” he shouted. “The man in that costume is infectious.”
“That’s been said about my bonhomie,” came Jim’s muffled drawl. “Now unlatch this thing.”
I stalled, buying time for the lab-coated man to arrive. I wanted to hear him out. It didn’t seem he’d be charging around with a test-tube just for the hell of it.
At the same moment, we were accosted from the other side by a roving exhibit from the petting zoo. It looked like the set from a baking competition show had been converted into a parade float. A large parrot wearing a chef’s toque perched over a cake with thick lemon frosting.
“I baked a cake, I baked a cake!” proclaimed the parrot. “Pretty bird, remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue!”
The man with the test-tube skidded to a halt. “He was spinning around in circles, wasn’t he? That’s an advanced symptom. The test confirms the diagnosis!” He waved the test-tube around so violently I was amazed the stopper stayed in.
“But we already know what happened,” I protested. “It’s not contagious, and it’s under control. The chilled fork did the trick.”
“Ohhh!” the alleged scientist jeered. “That won’t hold for long. A permanent cure can’t be achieved without the proper therapy. And for that, you need nine pairs of used false eyelashes and sequins in a plastic bag.”
bonus points for using them in order