I Have to Admit
- “Bingo.”
- in the days of my youth
- rather enjoyed my liaison with Francis
- at a local coffee shop
- shot him in the mouth
“I have to admit that I rather enjoyed my liaison with Francis at a local coffee shop.”
“If you didn’t admit it, I’d drag it out of you. I haven’t seen a smile like that on your face since we went on that robbery spree in the days of my youth.”
“That was fun, too. Francis needn’t know about any of that, of course.”
“Bingo.”
“Especially the jewelry store. That one wasn’t as much fun.”
“The security guard ruined the whole thing. That’s why you shot him in the mouth.”
“With a squirt gun! You always leave that part out.”
“And you always leave out that it wasn’t filled with water.”
My mind goes in two very different directions in regards to what might have been in the squirt gun.
Only two? I’m disappointed.
If the ambiguity is too distressing, here are a few possible liquids that could be squirted from a gun:
– bourbon
– vinegar
– sriracha
– latte
– rainwater that collected in a garbage can
Well obviously I can think of more than two liquids, but in this particular instance the only two options are:
1. acid
2. grape jelly
I don’t know what that says about me.
And yes, pedantic one, I know that grape jelly is not traditionally classified as a liquid. But you could still shoot it out of the right kind of squirt gun.
Or the wrong kind…
I hope none of this makes you afraid to come home tonight.
Nay, eager!
I’ll dust off the jelly gun.