I Grabbed The Tall Man’s Ankles
only poets could properly express- fart and fall down
- how your boss feels about robot nipples
- The first rule of Magic Club is
- regretted not bringing his own clogs
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I grabbed the tall man’s ankles and started dragging him across the chapel. I said to Tessa, “I’m going to stick you with the little one.” And friends, only poets could properly express how sly her smile became. We got both of the Right Anglers loaded onto those couches, and I managed not to fart and fall down even once during the whole process.
Each couch’s polarizing controls were located on the end, so that if you were sitting by the arm you could reach down and activate them. Why you’d want to do that is a mystery. I moved into position by one button and Tessa manned the other. Then we just had to kill time until the mime juice wore off.
“Why were you so concerned about whether I’d killed them?” Tessa asked.
“Well, Fleur would probably disapprove, and she’s not only my wife but also kind of my boss on military matters.”
Tessa shimmied a little, her Ultra-Druid getup making it quite a show. “Did you ever wonder how your boss feels about robot nipples?”
I blinked. “Are you telling me that you’re a Tessabot?”
She laughed. “The first rule of Magic Club is not answering that question!”
“What’s the second rule?”
“Can’t tell you, but I can say it’s why a certain viscount regretted not bringing his own clogs.”
bonus points for using them in order