I Didn’t Want To Reminisce
ghostly whistle of rushing air- gets a little too erotic about food for my delicate tastes
- remind you that you have no free will
- competitive breakdancing
- “You are irresponsible!”
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I didn’t want to reminisce with Isolde about her loser husband. Being a fan of When You Punch A Comet was very on-brand for him. When he stood sideways in a breeze you could hear the ghostly whistle of rushing air passing through his ears. I didn’t want to reminisce with her about anything, actually. I wanted her to leave, and take Fleur with her. But the topic of horrible television shows was irresistible to my sister-in-law.
With a wistful expression, she said, “He also liked The Great Brutish Bake-off, but it gets a little too erotic about food for my delicate tastes.”
The last thing I wanted to do was laugh at her for that remark. Her tastes were about as delicate as a garbage truck, but her ego was a fragile and elaborate thing. Insulting her would guarantee a lengthy tirade. So naturally, a loud, coarse guffaw escaped my mouth in one of those events life throws at you to remind you that you have no free will.
Thinking fast, I blurted, “It really gets good in the fifth season when they introduce competitive breakdancing in place of the technical.”
Suddenly Fleur made me hold both babies. “Where’s the camembert?” she cried, searching frantically down the side of the tub. “It’s gone!” she whimpered, transfering her quest to the bubbles within the tub. She would discover Tessa any second.
“Yes,” I said in my most reasonable tone. “It’s gone because you ate all of it.”
My wife glared at me. She bellowed, “You are irresponsible!”
bonus points for using them in order