“How About Being The Front of the Horse?”
I draw the line at butt cracks- never say it to your face
- shook the appendage
- wedded in a three-way ceremony
- which feels sinister
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“How about being the front of the horse?” I asked Small Dennis. “Would that be something fun?” He simply stared at me, probably because I was frantically stripping off my clothes as I spoke and Titania’s angry sneezing was getting closer.
I had remembered that people often called me Dennis at the Academy, and looking at Big Dennis laid out on the floor I finally spotted the resemblance. In seconds I had swapped clothes with him, managing it despite the complexity of my own outfit. Small Dennis still seemed dazed, but he put on the horse’s head and lined up for me to join on behind him. Just in time, because Titania blundered out of the bathroom just then.
And only then, when it was too late, did I discover that Small Dennis wasn’t wearing pants. I’ll happily stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but usually I draw the line at butt cracks.
“What happened to him?” I heard the Crystal Clown inquire.
“It was so shocking, I could never say it to your face,” Small Dennis replied. I wanted to thank him for not blowing my cover, but couldn’t risk being heard. He seemed to understand, because he reached back inside the horse costume and I shook the appendage gratefully.
“We’ll just have to bring him along,” she said. Suddenly a weight fell across my back as she hefted Big Dennis onto the space behind our saddle. Then she mounted up, and I had to wonder if she’d put any clothes on first or if she was pulling a full-on Godiva routine aboard an airship. We cantered out into the hallway, beast and rider wedded in a three-way ceremony and carrying excess baggage that might wake up at any moment and give me away.
It was not the first three-way wedding ceremony I’d taken part in, which feels sinister to think about, but fortunately my mind was busy thinking about how to accidentally on purpose let Big Dennis slide off this horse’s rump.
bonus points for using them in order