Category: Stichomancy Prompts

The Body of Water Mother Was Pointing At

  • k-avatarother worker won employee of the month
  • please put your hood back on
  • we’re trying to make our own luck
  • bedeck me in the other world
  • posted images of a coded note card

Tune In Next Time Part 37                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

The body of water Mother was pointing at was officially known as the Sea of Imbroglio, which was the nearest my father would ever come to a memorial. It formed in the same cataclysmic events that expanded and merged the Great Lakes, eradicated Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan, and took Father’s life. Mother wept at its mere mention. Now it was to be the staging ground for her next big scheme?

The truth struck me like a jai-alai serve to the head. This wasn’t Mother, it was her twin sister, Aunt Züg! That was why she failed to recognize Freya or me. I squinted at Freya, trying to read her awareness of the ruse. Without the sitting president to back my play, it was too risky calling out Aunt Züg’s deception.

“Tessa, darling,” the ersatz Ambassador to South Dakota said, “have you seen Jason’s brother at all lately? I promised him to Jorgensen when this is all over.” Tessa shook her head. “I see. Now, please put your hood back on. Listen up, all of you. The recipe for revolution is three parts chance and two parts ideology, and we’re trying to make our own luck. None of us can afford to slouch like some other worker won employee of the month. It’s no use crying, ‘Let them bedeck me in the other world with ribbons and medals,’ for it’s in this world that the Ambassador to North Dakota posted images of a coded note card showing, we believe, the only weakness in his citadel’s defenses. It’s these ninjas and pirates whose alliance we must exploit. And it’s the precious treasure brought to us by Tessa — please lower your hood now — that makes it all possible!”

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“That’s All Very Impressive, I’m Sure, Jason.”

  • by jenon this green, almost transparent sea
  • Whenever she wore pants
  • we could be dead by morning
  • makes me want to move to South Dakota
  • bloodless cheeks

Tune In Next Time Part 36                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

“That’s all very impressive, I’m sure, Jason,” said my mother, the former president and current Ambassador to South Dakota. “But do you really think this a time to be spitting mad flow? We could be dead by morning, all of us.”

The fact that my own mother couldn’t tell me apart from my twin is not something that makes me want to move to South Dakota, that’s for sure. But I didn’t say that out loud. Out loud I said, “Word,” and crossed my arms over my chest in my best imitation of Jason’s ludicrous posturing.

If Tessa’s bloodless cheeks were any indication, she had not expected Mother’s arrival. The poor girl was trembling. That was good news for me, as it kept her attention off of me.

Whenever she wore pants, my sister Freya was practically indistinguishable from her brother Thor, but that should not have fooled our mother, so her next statement surprised me. “Thor,” she said, turning her withering gaze to Freya, “the Pirate-Ninja Alliance are in formation on this green, almost transparent sea.” She indicated a swath of ocean off the South Dakota coast.

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Mom Dozes – Holiday Prompt

  • k-avatarshe didn’t see me creep
  • blink a bright red and green
  • I’ll be back again some day
  • we can hardly stand the wait
  • a bowl full of jelly

Mom dozes in her recliner, the television screen flooding her and the rest of the room with a greenish glow and whitish noise from the football game. She always falls asleep during halftime, which is why I waited until the third quarter to make my move, so she didn’t see me creep down the stairs and out the back door. In my backpack are all the supplies I think I will need, and on my way through the kitchen I grab the only food in the house, a bowl full of jelly beans. Although I’m desperate to start my new life far away from this place and that woman, I know with depressing certainty that I’ll be back again some day. Leaving the televised crowd noise behind, I hear tree frogs and night bugs. I see no one, but the chilly air amplifies the shivers I’ve been experiencing since I decided it was time to strike off on my own, and in my imagination eyes watch me from every shadow, feral slit-pupil eyes that blink a bright red and green. To distract myself, I slide the postcard out of my pocket and reread it in the hard beam of my flashlight: “We can hardly stand the wait!” The words of welcome dispel some of the shivers, and remind me that I’m doing the right thing, leaving the only home I have ever known. I flip the postcard over to see the university’s motto flying over an aerial shot of the campus. Yes, sophomore year was a good time to run away.

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I Hated My Grandfather – Holiday Prompt

  • by jenI laughed when I saw him
  • whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes
  • ice-cold in the snow
  • my two front teeth
  • a wonderful, awful idea

I hated my grandfather. He was a cruel man who died a fitting death, tumbling down the tall, narrow stairs of his rickety old mansion. The manservant said he tripped over his shoelaces. The coroner blamed his bum ticker. Whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, the old bastard was finally dead. I laughed when I saw him on the newspaper’s obituary page. After the funeral I visited his terrible house one last time. The place was empty, the servants gone, the electricity disconnected. Even though it was August, the rooms were ice-cold. In the snow globe on Grandfather’s desk were my two front teeth, the ones I’d lost as a child when I fell down the very same stairs that so recently claimed my grandfather. I had always thought Grandfather himself pushed me on that fateful day, but now I had a wonderful, awful idea. What if the curse was real?

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Freya’s Mistake

  • k-avatarlooked the beautiful girl right in the eye
  • actually sounds kind of great
  • nevertheless distinctly visible
  • smart, hilarious, ambitious, and very attractive
  • I need new clothes

Tune In Next Time Part 35                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Freya’s mistake made sense because, officially, I was in prison. My sister therefore assumed I had to be Jason. But Tessa knew I was out. What would happen when she saw me here? Freya studied me closely while I plotted my game under the pretense of searching for the right words.

“I need new clothes,” I told her. “Mr President,” I added when Freya arched one eyebrow and darted furtive glances at the secret service guys. “Like I wear at my gigs,” I prompted. Jason’s signature getup included a broad-brimmed hat and a kerchief over his face, as well as a flowing velvet cape, all in tones of vermillion. It might be enough to keep Tessa from recognizing me.

Freya and the secret service agents left me alone in the room, but they didn’t leave the birthday cake. An hour later, freshly attired, I was escorted to a meeting room where Freya — still impersonating her twin, Thor — sat at the head of the table. Tessa sat to her left. The candles were no longer lit, but the cake was nevertheless distinctly visible in the center of the table.

“Jason will rap for us now,” Freya announced.

“That actually sounds kind of great,” Tessa said before I could beg off. She smiled at me. I looked the beautiful girl right in the eye and saw no hint of a double agenda. Excuses occurred to me, ways that I could get out of performing, but that eager, happy smile on her lovely face was too wonderful.

Another secret service guy had a deck with two turntables, from which a heavy beat commenced. I imitated Jason’s trademark dance step, mincing like a rooster that had to pee really bad. Everyone else started clapping to the beat. I waited for it to come around and dove in.

“My favorite spy, her code name should be nitroglycerin. Cause she’s gonna blow it up, make counteragents disappearin’. She must be handled with care, cause she’s unstable and reactive. But I can’t stay gone, cause she’s also smart, hilarious, ambitious, and very attractive.”

Swept up in the flow of my mad rhymes, I didn’t notice when another dignitary took a seat at the table.

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The Full Implication of My Discovery

  • by jenwith a cold, wet hand towel
  • Jason, what happened?
  • how can I tell you I was wrong?
  • America’s number 1 wedding rapper
  • usually either annoying or terrifying

Tune In Next Time Part 34                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

The full implication of my discovery was like being struck across the face with a cold, wet hand towel. I don’t find red hair chilling usually — either annoying or terrifying, depending on the source, but not chilling. In this case though, its presence on the carpet could only mean one thing. Tessa had been here, and recently. Was she a prisoner, or in league with one of my siblings?

Freya saw the look on my face and said, “Jason, what happened?”

I was surprised that Freya could not tell me apart from my twin. Being a twin herself, she was usually quite sensitive to the faux pas. For now I decided to let her go on believing I was Jason, America’s number 1 wedding rapper. As long as I didn’t have to actually rap I should be fine.

I said, “How can I tell you I was wrong? Wrong about Mother, wrong about Thor, wrong about Father’s death, wrong about everything?”

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Mitzy’s Goons Frogmarched Me

  • k-avatarsang the last line of the song
  • nothing to do with my sister being in the room
  • seating configuration woes
  • strands of red hair
  • recommended by four out of five

Tune In Next Time Part 33                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Mitzy’s goons frogmarched me down a long hallway and into a windowless room with a beaten up desk where my brother Thor sat, flanked by secret service. On the desk was a birthday cake. As the door closed behind me, the secret service agents sang the last line of the song and Thor blew out his candles.

He swiped a delicate finger through the bright blue frosting and then licked it off. The minty smell hit me, and he said, “Alternative cake decoration recommended by four out of five dentists.”

I smirked. “Hello, ‘Thor,'” I said. But of course I could tell by the voice that this was in fact Thor’s twin, Freya. They were otherwise identical, at least above the waist. “I thought since the scandal you wouldn’t be welcome anymore. Does Mother know you’re here? And by the way, it’s not your birthday.”

“Of course not, on all counts,” Freya replied calmly. “And it’s father’s birthday. Didn’t you think there were too many candles?” She folded her hands on the desk. “Sit. I have many questions for you.”

Freya was using the only chair, so I remained standing. But a drop of sweat ran down the back of my neck. My unease had nothing to do with my sister being in the room, or with her pretending to be my brother, or even the seating configuration woes. What chilled my blood was noticing the strands of red hair on the carpet.

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The Helicopter Flew Over the Sea

  • by jenpresidential sex saga
  • ushered into the presence of Thor himself
  • and the hissing of the flames
  • — and go away with it
  • the old house in which my father died

Tune In Next Time Part 32                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

The helicopter flew over the sea for an hour, and then over the land, and finally touched down on the lawn of the old house in which my father died. Some people call it the White House. I didn’t like to be reminded of the part my father played in the presidential sex saga scandal, and wondered why Mitzy brought me here, of all places. I wished I could take the helicopter’s controls — wrench them from the pilot’s hands if I must! — and go away with it to some other location.

I looked at Mitzy for an explanation. Perhaps we were here to destroy the damn place, and the hissing of the flames would sing me to sleep tonight. My hopes were dashed when Mitzy said, “And now he will be ushered into the presence of Thor himself!”

Thor was, of course, my brother. He had been vice-president until the whole sex scandal forced our mother from office. I wondered many times if he orchestrated the imbroglio that resulted in our father’s death. I hoped I would survive this encounter. Tessa was the furthest thing from my mind, which, as it turns out, was a mistake.

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A Rope Ladder Swung

  • k-avatarsee his brain whirl
  • “Are you saying I’ve grown fat?”
  • felt as though you were in an ice bath for a millisecond
  • that zipped on the sides
  • in his room, planning his revenge

Tune In Next Time Part 31                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

A rope ladder swung before me, the lowest rung knocking me in the face. The helicopter hovered high over the ship, paying out a very long ladder so it could stay clear of the masts. With great effort I hooked an elbow over one rung and placed my feet on another.

The chopper climbed, pulling me upwards. At the hatchway, I got stuck momentarily until I exhaled. Then I was yanked free and the helicopter sped off, reeling me in gradually as it flew, giving me ample time to wonder who it was that rescued me.

Mitzy. I should have known she’d put in an appearance eventually. She stood in the open doorway of the helicopter wearing sequined overalls that zipped on the sides. As she guided my exhausted body into the compartment she said, “You weren’t stuck for long, but the surprise felt as though you were in an ice bath for a millisecond.”

“Are you saying I’ve grown fat?” I demanded. “There was nothing there but cotton candy — poisoned cotton candy — what was I supposed to do? I’m starving as it is.”

Mitzy’s worst habit, among many irritating tendencies, was speaking about people rather than to them. She said, “Soon he is in his room, planning his revenge. I can see his brain whirl, spinning fantastic torments for his enemies.”

“Mitzy, I just want a shower and a stiff drink, in that order.”

Where was she taking me? What happened to Jorgensen’s crew? Was I too late to protect Tessa from the deepest secrets of the treasure?

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I Remained in the Brig for Days

  • by jenringing of church bells
  • until the helicopter came
  • a very pretty demonstration
  • for it is poisoned
  • decorated with curtains of a saffron hue

Tune In Next Time Part 30                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

I remained in the brig for days. During that time I saw no one, not a single pirate, ninja, or mime. I ate so much cotton candy I began to hallucinate that my prison was a small cottage decorated with curtains of a saffron hue, and filled with the sound of the ringing of church bells.

As my stupor ebbed away, I said out loud, “Don’t be fooled. This is a very pretty demonstration of the effects of iocaine poisoning, for it is poisoned cotton candy, of course. Poisoned by the duplicitous Jorgensen.”

I repeated the phrase over and over until the helicopter came and I failed to hear any footsteps on the deck above my head. That could mean only one thing: the ninja envoys had arrived. Would Tessa be with them? Would John? Would Heinrich?

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