Category: Stichomancy Prompts

Despite the Morning’s Embarrassment

  • despite the morning’s embarrassment
  • a confusion of alternating nightmare and oblivion
  • uphill would be difficult
  • smell the woodsmoke
  • they will find Mona
  • around in a long widdershins loop

Despite the morning’s embarrassment at discovering Mona gone, I couldn’t lose focus. I had to find her before her true enemies; winning her trust could come later.

I had awakened from a confusion of alternating nightmare and oblivion, which must have been Mona’s doing. Poison? Magic? I would ask when I caught her.

So I set out. I will find her trail first, walking around in a long widdershins loop, listening for hounds. They will smell the woodsmoke. They will find Mona unless I protect her.

Tracks, to the east. Toward the heights, her old home. Did she really go that way? Uphill would be difficult for her, slow her down. These tracks must be a decoy.

But, maybe not. East I go, hunting a prey I must save from another.

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“Happy Birthday,” He Said

  • by jenshrinking like a balloon
  • 50 bucks worth of shit
  • picture of the burly child
  • “Happy birthday,” he said
  • passed a cohabitation law

“Happy birthday,” he said and handed Loretta 50 bucks worth of shit she didn’t need, as well as a picture of the burly child he had once been, back before the state passed a cohabitation law that compelled her to leave him behind with his father and take up residence with an old, half-senile party official whose phallus had the habit of shrinking like a balloon stuck by a pin whenever they were in bed together.

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Stop Laughing Like That

  • Stop laughing like that, you monster!
  • a wash of heat in his genitals
  • if they never killed a fox
  • then her lips twitched
  • and Philip swallowed

“Stop laughing like that, you monster!”

The  sound of Lola’s voice, so imperious, prompted a wash of heat in his genitals. But still he laughed, because a pretty lady in nothing but a fur coat is a vastly entertaining sight. And he was thinking how she would look at this moment if they never killed a fox, never made her coat.

“Philip, find my clothes! This is unforgivable!”

He started to think he’d made her too angry, but then her lips twitched into a lascivious smile, just for a moment, and Philip swallowed.

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Leonard is a Strange Person

  • by jenthe kitchen will have been aired out
  • I’ve been up for x-rays
  • making it a family affair
  • had seen that ghostly face!
  • until it was eleven
  • Leonard is a strange person

Leonard is a strange person. How I wish I never had seen that ghostly face! But see it I did on that fateful February day, along with my wife, my sister-in-law, and my six nephews, making it a family affair.

I’ve been up for for x-rays numerous times since in a futile attempt to discern what Leonard did to us, but so far the doctors have been unable to offer a diagnosis.

Whatever Leonard, that strange person, did it caused us all to become confused about our favorite television programs, and is most confounding.

My poor wife will open the kitchen window for a moment to clear the smell of frying sausages, but will become distracted pondering whether she prefers David Letterman or Conan O’Brien, and by the time she figures it out the kitchen will have been aired out until it was eleven degrees!

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Carlton Rode with Me

  • kissed my hand and ran away
  • Whom will it kill?
  • flung the elevator door wide
  • you breathe carbon monoxide from your lungs
  • the customers murmured
  • reptilian latex sheath

Carlton rode with me to the nineteenth, flung the elevator door wide, kissed my hand and ran away. Did he know something? Should I not get off on the twentieth as I’d planned?

By that point in my contemplations the car had gone up another floor and the door softly opened on its own. With a shrug, I stepped off into the corridor.

“You breathe carbon monoxide from your lungs. Whom will it kill?” I mused aloud. “Are you up here?”

No answer.

A nearby door let into a bookstore. The alien was there, holding a feng-shui guide in one paw. The appendage was covered in a reptilian latex sheath like the rest of the creature.

The customers murmured.

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Cecelia Opened the Door

  • by jensomething else inside that boy’s head
  • the Upright Man’s precious cargo
  • the reality of Paul’s shoes
  • the fir tree smelled
  • felt indecently robust
  • I thought you were in Africa
  • a large number of plastic crates

Cecelia opened the door and saw Paul standing on her front porch amid a large number of plastic crates.

“I thought you were in Africa!” she cried and gave him a hug.

“I was.” He gestured to the crates. “The Upright Man’s precious cargo proved easy to retrieve.”

Cecelia invited her brother inside and waited for him to remove his shoes. The reality of Paul’s shoes is that they were of a highly complicated design and it took a long time for him to unfasten them. She gave up waiting and went to make them some coffee. By the time Paul joined her in the kitchen, the coffee felt indecently robust on the tongue.

They carried their mugs into the living room and sat by the Christmas tree, watching the lights blink on and off. The fir tree smelled like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. It was one of the new genetic hybrids. But Paul didn’t even seem to notice.

There must be something else inside that boy’s head besides the holidays, Cecelia thought. I wonder where the Upright Man is.

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Her Eyes Closed, Her Mouth Shut

  • like two chicken pies warming at noon
  • all five of them
  • We just got to see Chicago, by god!
  • amidst his squirrel friends with a bag of nuts
  • gaze pensively off into the mists
  • her eyes closed, her mouth shut

Her eyes closed, her mouth shut. Or maybe it was the other way around. She left her boyfriend to gaze pensively off into the mists amidst his squirrel friends with a bag of nuts dangling from his hand, forgotten.

Like two chicken pies warming at noon with no one around to eat them, so did their hearts beat side-by-side but not together.

This boyfriend was like all the rest — all five of them were listless mist-gazers, pensive and befriended by arboreal rodents.

“This road trip is over,” she declared.

“But why?” the boyfriend whined. “We just got to see Chicago, by god!”

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Desdemona Smiled

  • by jenbut they still had logs enough
  • this was a popular shrine
  • the doorway of the weaving shed
  • platters of root vegetables
  • He is brisk in bed.
  • the stick he was using

Desdemona smiled and gestured to her crotch. “This was a popular shrine when I was younger. Now the fickle young men prefer others. But they still had logs enough for my purposes in the house of the elders, I found.

“Take Igor for instance,” Desdemona said of her most recent suitor. “He is brisk in bed. The stick he was using, if you’ll pardon the expression, gave more pleasure than all the platters of root vegetables stacked in the doorway of the weaving shed for winter ever could. If you know what I mean.”

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All We Had To Eat

  • which stank as if hyenas had once lived there
  • a little knob on its side
  • scraped off the rhino skulls
  • meat and berries
  • voles, grouse, foxes
  • their hair was curly, but only loosely so
  • consisted of a skin loin cloth

All we had to eat was meat and berries, which had to be scraped off the rhino skulls. One skull had a little knob on its side, and Edgar claimed it for his own exclusive use. Mine was yellowed, an ancient specimen which stank as if hyenas had once lived there. Already I’d lost twelve pounds.

I was on the trail of voles, grouse, foxes, or fish when I discovered the other encampment. Their hair was curly, but only loosely so. I drew a map on the only suitable material I possessed, which consisted of a skin loincloth.

It was at that moment, scribbling away with a dirty stick at the underside of my meager garment, that I first laid eyes on Minerva.

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The Reunions Didn’t Go Well

  • mere vats of chemicalsby jen
  • put her forehead against the ottoman
  • a package of cat litter
  • Matt, in sweatsuit,
  • the reunions didn’t go well

The reunions didn’t go well, which is just the sort of thing that makes reality TV producers wet themselves. Everyone was clamoring to see Matt and Rebecca, the star-crossed lovers from Season 3, finally get together. The camera crew caught Matt, in sweatsuit, at the store buying a package of cat litter, when everyone knows that Rebecca has cat allergies so bad that mere vats of chemicals aren’t enough to help her. Obviously things weren’t going to go well. When Matt got to Rebecca’s house she had a sneezing fit and had to put her forehead against the ottoman so she wouldn’t pass out. When it became clear that Matt wasn’t willing to give up his cat for Rebecca, everyone knew their relationship was doomed before it even got rekindled, so then the producers switched over to Ryan and Alexis from Season 7. Oh boy, was that a nightmare!

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