Category: Stichomancy Prompts

Felicity Relaxed Her Expanded Nostrils

  • by jennicknamed “the incubator”
  • I am Morris
  • the last man on the list
  • relaxed her expanded nostrils
  • an insoluble cryptogram
  • I shall wear my sash all the time

Felicity relaxed her expanded nostrils and called the name of the last man on the list.

He took the stage and said, “I am Morris, nicknamed ‘The Incubator’ by my last girlfriend, who also said I was an insoluble cryptogram in bed. If I win the title of Mr Universe, I shall wear my sash all the time.”

Felicity felt her nostrils flaring anew as Morris The Incubator flexed his pecs rhythmically at her.

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Dear Mum

  • k-avatarwoe to all unlabeled invaders!
  • I have posed a little puzzle
  • a momentary feeling of satisfaction
  • I’ll skip the boring details
  • The thrill has remained dormant
  • that is a weird notion

Dear Mum,

Stationed now in the produce department. I’ll skip the boring details. Central Command wants stickers on all the fresh fruit, and woe to all unlabeled invaders! So I have posed a little puzzle for the stockboys. But it only brought a momentary feeling of satisfaction, until the customers started throwing tomatoes. My manager expects morale to improve now that we’re using the new aprons. The thrill has remained dormant. Hoping for reassignment to frozen foods. Need to make contact with the turncoat liaison, and I’ve heard he’s a cool cat. Insurrection is predicted in the toothpaste aisle. That is a weird notion.

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“Devlin is Such a Scamp!”

  • by jenforcing them to drop their wood
  • kissed each other good morning
  • his manhood in public
  • “Stop him! Stop him!”
  • enormous flocks of ducks
  • wolves, ibex, reindeer
  • reacts in a unique egotistic manner

“Devlin is such a scamp!” exclaimed Minerva du Mauvais to Bogman Bill after they kissed each other good morning, chastely, as was their custom. “Whenever he accomplishes something grand he reacts in a unique egotistic manner by exposing his manhood in public while surrounded by enormous flocks of ducks, wolves, ibex, reindeer, and children. The first time he did this it was so amusing! He paraded past a group of villagers out collecting firewood for the coming winter, forcing them to drop their wood in astonishment at the size and beauty of his man-meat, and causing the faint-of-heart to cry, ‘Stop him! Stop him!’“

She smiled indulgently at the memory.

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“Professor Hillcrest, I Believe You Are Mistaken”

  • k-avatartotal perspective vortex
  • hillcrest
  • defiantly
  • brilliant blaze of silence

“Professor Hillcrest, I believe you are mistaken.”

The class gasped at Ryan’s audacity while the professor met his unprecedented verbal challenge with a brilliant blaze of silence. The old man’s cold stare was malicious, but Ryan met it defiantly.

The battle of wills continued, with Hillcrest standing mutely in front of the chalkboard where his fallacious proof went unfinished, and Ryan standing resolutely on the small platform which the professor had, in his arrogance, labeled the Total Perspective Vortex – the only spot in the lecture hall from which a student was allowed to speak.

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Victoria Hesitated

  • by jenhesitated
  • lights
  • lived
  • isolated

Victoria hesitated, staring across the water at the flickering lights. It really wasn’t her place to get involved. She knew she should just ignore the phenomenon and hurry home before her parents got worried. But there was something intriguing about the lights out on the isolated island where nobody lived. What would an extra few minutes matter?

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“Just Climb Over!”

  • k-avatarmoonless
  • collecting
  • snag
  • climb over!

“Just climb over!“

Trudy gave up fumbling with the latch and heaved herself over the gate. She felt her pocket snag, felt her bomber jacket become a trap, stranding her with one knee hooked over the top of the iron barricade and one foot waving uselessly a few inches from the ground where Emily crouched. The dogs were getting closer.

Collecting mushrooms in their familiar woods on a moonless October night, they had discovered, inexplicably, an ancient wrought-iron fence had separated them.

Trudy slipped one arm free of her coat and dropped beside Emily. She reached through the bars to extricate her pocket and heard a low growl.

Which side of the fence were the dogs on?

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Fin Stared at the “Stereotype Questionnaire”

  • by jencrucifix
  • stereotype questionnaire
  • drugs
  • pose
  • independently

Fin stared at the “stereotype questionnaire.” Was it worth it to fill the whole damn thing out, all 6 pages, for $25? He sighed. He needed the money.

#7 “What traits do you associate with women who use drugs? Check all that apply. Please work independently.”

Fuck it.

Being careful to stay within the ovals, Fin filled out his answer sheet so that the colored dots formed a rudimentary crucifix, with Jesus in a less-than-dignified pose.

He spent the next half hour napping, then handed in his papers and collected his cash.

Next stop: liquor store.

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Lara Edged Awkwardly

  • k-avatargiant sticky bun
  • unsubstantiated
  • considerable
  • Ludwig Neitzche’s illness

Lara edged awkwardly through the narrow passage, moving crabwise with both an armload of philosophy and a giant sticky bun to pay attention to. She nibbled at the pastry as she moved to the appropriate location in the stacks to deposit the pretentious tomes that burdened her right arm.

Not dropping anything as she placed the heap of books on a nearby carrel took considerable dexterity. Then she had to work one-handed because her glazed left hand had more important things to worry about than — she glanced at the cover of the next volume — Ludwig Nietzche’s Illness.

She hoped to have time for a smoke break before that so-called reporter showed up. The cute one. Lara took a larger bite of the sweet, gooey treat, reminding herself that the rumors of this chick’s heterosexuality were as of yet unsubstantiated.

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It Wasn’t Long Before Bernard Fell Under Suspicion

  • by jenmass
  • punishments
  • suspicion

It wasn’t long before Bernard fell under suspicion. He attended mass with Father Mulcahey on the Sunday in question. He had a criminal past. His boots were found in the garbage can, caked with mud.

Bernard maintained his innocence, claiming the Father was just a good friend from way back. And as for his record, well he’d taken his punishments, paid his fees!

He couldn’t explain the boots though, and was quickly lynched by the angry mob.

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Blood Jets Up To The Ceiling

  • k-avataremptied
  • jets
  • nameplate
  • within the system

Blood jets up to the ceiling from Daggart’s neck-stump, swamping the desk blotter and sweeping the nameplate to the floor, and then, emptied at last, his torso slumps back in the swivel chair as if wearied of exsanguination.

“Well,” thinks Maurice as he wipes his blade, “so much for working within the system.”

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