By The Time I Negotiated

  • by KentPumpkin Spice Latte M&Ms
  • and a tiny piece of cellophane
  • didn’t exactly “scrub the mug,” but
  • narcissistic to the extreme
  • fancy material, no question

Tune in next time part 524      Click Here for Earlier Installments

By the time I negotiated enough turnings in the hedge maze to reach the source of the music, the first chorus was done. I might have gotten there quicker if I hadn’t felt compelled to form the letters ‘Y, M, C, A’ with my body as I moved.

The stage was built of a hard substance that sparkled, possibly a natural mineral or perhaps something meant for high-end countertops, but fancy material, no question. The singers on that stage were less impressive. I could tell by their desultory choreography that they were all narcissistic to the extreme, too preoccupied with themselves to stay synced up to each other. They did have respectable costumes, but sadly not the physiques to really make them work.

The music abruptly stopped. “Who are you?” demanded the tubby performer in the cop costume. His mirror shades were perched on the tip of his nose, and the look he gave me over them didn’t exactly “scrub the mug,” but it was at least “drying the silverware” if you know what I mean. The construction worker lifted his hard hat, and a tiny piece of cellophane stayed behind, clinging to his bald head.

“I’m a Contrarian general,” I said. “And I order you to start that song over. I’m singing lead this time!”

“Ha!” the biker said. “We’re not your soldiers to be bossed around. Nobody talks like that to the Pumpkin Spice Latte M&Ms!”

bonus points for using them in reverse order

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