As I Walked Past the Boot Department
the Russian seemed to almost deflate- in a silver sequin hunting outfit topped with a plumed hat
- turned my blood to icy slush
- it hurt more
- ivory fans, flamenco shoes
- past the boot department
As I walked past the boot department of the Vladivostok Marks and Spencer, I beheld a sight that turned my blood to icy slush.
Igor had found me, and there he stood in a silver sequin hunting outfit topped with a plumed hat, in his hands ivory fans, flamenco shoes on his tiny, awkward feet.
The Russian seemed to almost deflate as my horror manifested as mad cackling, and it hurt more to see his disappointment than it had to pull out the arrow he shot into my buttock in Prague.
Shouldn’t it be Marx and Spencer?
Igor is certainly a dashing fellow, isn’t he?
Groucho?
Igor is indeed dashing, except for his feet. (Ironic?)
Karl.
Does he use the fans as weapons?
Doubtful. I think the sequins just make his outfit too warm.
They could serve as both cooling apparatuses and slicing tools. All he would have to do is sharpen the edges. And hold them carefully. What kind of assassin is Igor if he doesn’t think of these things? Plus, it would make them very difficult to steal. Or at least dangerous to the unwary and uninformed.
Next you’re going to tell me that his flamenco shoes aren’t deadly either.
Igor is in it for the glamor and glory, which clouds his judgement. The flamenco shoes are, however, extremely effective weapons. They’re really Flame-NCO shoes, also known as incendiary nitroneoprene combat orthopedics.
!!!