“And, Also Under Lunar Law”
the mouthfeel is different- didn’t specify whether I wanted the inside or the outside of the cake
- not even real words
- wiped them, and put them on again
- looked me straight in the eye and said, “No.”
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“And, also under Lunar law,” Zeus Pamplemousse went on, “we must perform the confectionery ceremony.” He must have planned all of this well in advance, because otherwise on top of all the other weird things about him he was turning out to be a dude who goes around with a wedding cake in one of his velvet cloak’s inner pockets.
“You had a wedding cake this whole time?” I blurted.
He shook his head. “This is moon pie. It resembles wedding cake in many ways, but the mouthfeel is different. Not that that’s important to the ceremony.” And with that, he grabbed a handful of moon pie and smushed it in Tessa’s face. “Your turn,” he said blandly.
Tessa snatched up her own handful of pastry. Quick as she was, by the time she got it to his face he’d donned a set of goggles. He chuckled, licking icing off his own face. “That didn’t count, because I didn’t specify whether I wanted the inside or the outside of the cake to touch my skin.”
“You never said anything about that,” Tessa complained. “I didn’t specify either.”
“In Lunar society, only the groom can declare such a preference.”
Tessa seized more moon pie in both fists and pummeled Pamplemousse while grunting savagely. Her feelings on this matter came through even though the sounds were not even real words. When she stopped, Pamplemousse removed the goggles, wiped them, and put them on again.
“Alright,” I interjected, “the confectionery ceremony is a done deal. Can we go now?”
Zeus Pamplemousse looked me straight in the eye and said, “No.”
bonus points for using them in order