An Entire Field Trip’s Worth of Teenage Boys in School Uniforms
the realm of cryptozoology and superstition- through an interpreter
- to enhance its size
- staring up at the ceiling with dreamy, lack-luster eyes
- mere super-dork
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An entire field trip’s worth of teenage boys in school uniforms blocked my view of the SCUBA woman. Contrarian schools focus almost exclusively on the realm of cryptozoology and superstition, so their presence here at the aquarium was a bit surprising.
I moved to the side of the viewing port and started to work my way in amongst the hormone-drenched throng, which necessitated pressing myself flat against the wall. As I inched along I encountered a plaque written in Olde Contrarian. I ran the text through an interpreter app on my phone, thinking it might be the message I was waiting for. When the translation appeared, I had to enhance its size and read it again.
Mermaid.
I laughed. Well, that explained what the school kids were doing here. But the SCUBA woman was anything but a mermaid. All the parts I had seen (which was most of them, given the skimpiness of her bikini) were human.
Losing patience, I shoved the nearest teen a few inches to the left and took my place at the window. The “mermaid” spotted me and flashed a quick hand signal, then began her peculiar and complicated release of bubbles again. The code she was using was an old one, and she started off by complaining about how many years it had taken me to finally show up.
I shrugged.
She flashed another quick hand signal, this one much ruder than the first, then bubbled that I should call her the Headmistress. That was great news, except that I didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to pass along my message to her. I stood there for far too long, staring up at the ceiling with dreamy, lack-luster eyes, trying to recall the proper pantomimes for Fire, Delight, and Danger.
The boy that I shoved noticed me and elbowed his friends. The whole group began taunting me, calling me every name in the book from perverted ass-clown to pathetic pumpkin juggler to mere super-dork.
I ignored them and finished choreographing my message. As soon as I delivered it, the SCUBA headmistress’s eyes narrowed and she pulled a harpoon gun from behind a nearby chunk of coral.
bonus points for using them in order