All I Wanted To Do
undercover as a vagrant- singing the national anthem of an imaginary country
- “I would say I was decapitated,”
- doing it very nicely, thank you
- might as well quit bellyaching
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All I wanted to do was reassure the Tessabot about my real identity, but unfortunately I had to remain in character as the very viscount whom she had mistaken me for. I hadn’t experienced so much stress over being found out since I went undercover as a vagrant and to keep up the act ended up singing the national anthem of an imaginary country very loudly in a dumpster. The officiant said, “Perhaps we should take a minute so you two can talk through…” He drew vague circles in the air, vaguely in the region of my face. “Whatever this is.” He spun away and disappeared into the trees, leaving me alone with Tessa.
I yanked off the red wig. “It’s me! Look! Remember our plan?”
She took the wig out of my hand. She stared at it for a long time, then said, “I would say I was decapitated,” and gave it back.
“Great,” I muttered as I put the soggy thing back on my head. “Apparently at least one of us needs to be a gibbering moron at all times. Is it your logic module? Or your speech processor?”
“My logic module is logicking,” she said, “and doing it very nicely, thank you. And it’s not my speech center either. The short circuit is much deeper than that, and you won’t be able to fix it, so we might as well quite bellyaching and get married.
bonus points for using them in order