After Scampering Back Up the Aisle
spend most weekends making genitalia-shaped cakes- psychedelic funk band frontman
- conventional menswear expectations
- “I shall blackball the notion if it ever comes up.
- as strobe lights flash and Metallica plays
Tune in next time part 554 Click Here for Earlier Installments
After scampering back up the aisle amid a fusilade of fishing lures (thankfully sans hooks) we were detained in the foyer to take part in a sort of receiving line. I started sweating. The uninvited rattled their chains as the other guests filed out of their rows via the opposite ends and converged on us.
The first man to step up grabbed my hand and pumped it vigorously, yelling, “Congratulations!” He was shouldered aside by his wife, who also shook my hand while saying, “I imagine your first year will fly by like all newleweds’, and you’ll spend most weekends making genitalia-shaped cakes and weeknights sleeping with each other’s shoes on.”
It seemed these people didn’t actually know Arlo all that well. They flashed us big smiles, but their opinions of the ceremony and us as a couple weren’t all raves. I heard one lady muttering about how even a viscount shouldn’t be allowed to dress like a psychedelic funk band frontman during his wedding. A moment later, a lanky man in a periwinkle three-piece suit voiced this sentiment directly, albeit more diplomatically.
“You’ve successfully thwarted conventional menswear expectations,” he said in tone of faux mockery. Or was it so faux? “Will such attire become de rigueur for grooms henceforth?” he went on.
With a chuckle, I said, “I shall blackball the notion if it ever comes up.”
Even once the temple held only the uninvited guests howling for release, I and the Tessabot were not yet free either. We couldn’t duck away, and found ourselves stuffed into the limo bound for the reception. She filled me in on what to expect. “This is an older crowd, so it’ll be a sedate affair by Svenborgian standards. We will dance as strobe lights flash and Metallica plays ‘One’ on a loop.”
bonus points for using them in order