“I Wish You Wouldn’t Talk about Arlo”
where lasers mimed demonic lightning storms- dripping out of your ears right now
- bunch of tiny cubes
- the color of urine on snow
- “I’m not here to make friends!”
Tune in next time part 793 Click Here for Earlier Installments
“I wish you wouldn’t talk about Arlo,” I said. “With or without clogs, that guy is such a dick.”
Tessa laughed, and it was the sort of laugh that made it impossible to believe that she might be a robot whose head was filled with circuits and microchips, where lasers mimed demonic lightning storms as they rocketed around and simulated thoughts.
The two bebearded gents on the sofas began to twitch. The mime juice was wearing off, and once that process starts it goes quickly. Since we hadn’t restrained the men, I said, “We better switch these things on now, before they fully recover.”
“Aye-aye.”
Tessa and I each pushed the Polarize button on the sofa we were stationed beside, and the process began. A few minutes later, the men were fully conscious and in the throes of polarization. I cleared my throat and spoke loudly to be heard over the mechanisms. “You’re probably wondering what is dripping out of your ears right now. It’s a bunch of tiny cubes the color of urine on snow, and you know what that means.”
“You’ve polarized our ear wax!” Tall Guy cried.
“You animal!” Shorty yelled.
“I’m not here to make friends!” I said. “I’m a General of the Contrarian Humor Battalions, and I’m here to find out who sent you. The polarizing sofas are currently on level 2. Will you answer my questions, or do I need to turn up the reactor power impulses?”
bonus points for using them in order