Major Fitz Saluted Again
shoulders are not meant to work like this- refrain from blowing ourselves to smithereens
- let the cool supermarket air refresh your nethers
- renewed our passions with erotic tea
- awe-inspiring incompetence
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Major Fitz saluted again, to whom I wasn’t sure this time. It was a very strange and awkward salute in which his arm twisted backwards. Seeing it made me think, shoulders are not meant to work like this. Then he turned on his heel to collect his prisoners. Or, so I thought. He seized John’s manacles and snapped the chain like wet paper. Mother’s bonds were nullified a moment later.
“If you refrain from trying to recapture us,” Mother sang, “then it will be the same as if we all refrain from blowing ourselves to smithereens. Order the other guards to sit on the ice. Doesn’t it feel wonderful, like when you shop with nothing under your skirt to let the cool supermarket air refresh your nethers. All we want is a proper honeymoon! So, once we are safely aboard an escape pod, and we have renewed our passions with erotic tea, you can resume your pathetic endeavors and need not spare another worry for us. This voyage has been, start to end, a continuous display of truly awe-inspiring incompetence.”
“All I want right now,” Fleur said, “is those two off my airship.”
bonus points for using them in order