I Lost Count
my hair color’s pretty unmistakeable- heart-shaped ravioli
- looking at shirtless pics of dudes
- roommates were not entertained
- And those are just the women he married.
Tune in next time part 696 Click Here for Earlier Installments
I lost count of how many decks we climbed as Fleur frog-marched me up to the wedding. I tried to get more details about the couple, tossing off inquiries such as, “Is this husband-to-be someone who’d say something like ‘my hair color’s pretty unmistakeable‘?” but she ignored all my questions.
In keeping with Contrarian tradition, the reception was being held first. But because I was late, I got frog-marched right past my place setting with its bowl of heart-shaped ravioli. In the zeppelin’s wedding chapel, the bridesmaids huddled at the altar looking at shirtless pics of dudes on someone’s phone. Amazingly, not one of them was a mother to any of my children. I was the last groomsman to arrive, the others gathered here in a loose ring around the maids, craning for a glimpse of those pics. But they all wore bored expressions, like they were the shirtless dudes’ roommates and the roommates were not entertained by exhibitionism. Quite keen to look at the pics, though.
The priest came in with several Contrarian nobles. He seemed to be concluding a long story of some kind, saying, “And those are just the women he married.” The nobles laughed raucously.
bonus points for using them in order