I Made Sure I Had Jim’s Attention
- I want the hair
- moved from gross to turbo-gross
- Do not give this woman an inch.
- just because she feeds me well
- dealt with outrage my whole life
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I made sure I had Jim’s attention, and said, “I clean the drains because I want the hair.” With this utterance our conversation moved from gross to turbo-gross, but for the next several minutes my brother would be incapable of saying anything untrue. He blinked as if startled by a sunbeam, then stared vacantly ahead. The trance was in effect.
“What’s the deal with bringing Isolde out here?” I demanded. The well-being of those offspring was my primary concern.
Jim sounded like a southern-fried robot. “Do not give this woman an inch.”
“Hey!” Isolde exclaimed. She began struggling up from the couch, which was evidently going to take her a while.
“You didn’t really answer my question,” I said.
“She thinks she can keep me fooled,” Jim drone-drawled, “just because she feeds me well, but her scheme is obvious to me.”
“What scheme?” I pressed. The trance prevented lying, but clearly still permitted him to speak in riddles. Isolde continued wrestling unsuccessfully with gravity, her frustration growing into outrage. I was unimpressed, having dealt with outrage my whole life.
Jim said, “Her scheme to–” but he got no further before a white-furred bipedal abomination burst into the chamber and seized him up. The ease with which it carried my brother away had me wondering if this one was an actual yeti. No! It had to be Arlo, that dick, abducting Jim while he would be unable to provide false answers under interrogation.
bonus points for using them in order