I Had to Conduct the Remainder of the Scampering Ceremony
while wearing a lizard mask- running with scissors wasn’t smart
- the enduring glow of a tender and true love
- his skill as a porcelain painter
- physically could not remove her engagement ring
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I had to conduct the remainder of the Scampering ceremony while wearing a lizard mask to personify the Great Sun-Iguana, a Contrarian folkloric figure somewhat akin to the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny, whose job it was to teach Contrarian children that running with scissors wasn’t smart. After I delivered my anti-scissor-running moral, Mr and Mrs Hedgehog reconciled and were left to bask in the enduring glow of a tender and true love that can only come when a poor writer agrees to forgo further attempts at novelry and concentrate instead on his skill as a porcelain painter.
The ceremony concluded with all the local children scampering in the snow, only there were no children at Enigma Fortress. In their place, the garrison under my command marched about in formation while whooping.
As I removed my lizard mask, YoYo whispered into my ear. “You should be proud. Yesterday is quite sure she’s pregnant. When she showered this morning she physically could not remove her engagement ring or her wedding ring because her finger was so swollen.” She planted a green kiss on my lips. “And I’m quite certain that I’m pregnant, too.”
bonus points for using them in order