It was Snowing Harder
three or four of the thickest- wiped them, and put them on again
- hardly even go to the toilet alone
- sluggish and contented
- works hard and plays thoughtfully
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It was snowing harder outside than three or four of the thickest snowfalls I had ever seen, combined. And I was born at the North Pole!
“How can the Spring Scampering take place during such a blizzard?” I asked the groundskeeper.
He reappeared from under my bed with Rodney in his arms. The fox licked the man’s face, glasses and all. “This storm is the first sign of spring in the Paradoxica Mountains, General,” he said, tucking Rodney under his arm. Noting the fox slobber on his spectacles, he removed them, wiped them, and put them on again. “In deepest winter we can hardly even go to the toilet alone for fear of getting lost in the snow. We form a human chain several times a day to reach the privies.” He saluted in the complicated Contrarian fashion. “Of course, being a General, you have your own private loo, and you don’t even have to go outside to reach it.” Turning, he marched out of my chambers with Rodney held high.
I laid back on my bed, sluggish and contented at the thought of my fancy private bathroom. I’m the sort of guy who works hard and plays thoughtfully. And as soon as I could rouse myself to shower, I would be the kind of guy who is no longer covered in ceremonial sex glitter.
bonus points for using them in order