{"id":9732,"date":"2023-11-08T08:35:28","date_gmt":"2023-11-08T13:35:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=9732"},"modified":"2023-11-07T11:15:54","modified_gmt":"2023-11-07T16:15:54","slug":"as-far-as-i-knew-titania-was-not-a-cook","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/as-far-as-i-knew-titania-was-not-a-cook\/","title":{"rendered":"As Far As I Knew, Titania Was Not A Cook"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>her suggestion of \u201cDeep Fried Ice Cream Tacos\u201d<\/li>\n<li>I am the fucking law<\/li>\n<li>To call it \u2018rummaging\u2019 would cheapen the encounter<\/li>\n<li>the dilating-pipes entered the main apparatus<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m hearing a lot of excuses<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 850 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As far as I knew, Titania was not a cook. But was the infamous pasta sauce recipe of her invention? The ingredients list contained hints that this recipe&#8217;s author might not be much of a cook in any case. Household cleaning products featured prominently. If she had created it, <em>her suggestion of &#8220;Deep Fried Ice Cream Tacos&#8221;<\/em> to be stirred in before serving was a stroke of genius.<\/p>\n<p>Memorizing the recipe would not be easy even if I didn&#8217;t have to worry about the Crystal Clown becoming offended by my inattentiveness, but that was a major worry. &#8220;Obey me!&#8221; she barked. &#8220;<em>I am the fucking law<\/em>. I am the beat cop of coitus. Now spread &#8217;em!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>All the excess clothing &#8212; which she&#8217;d insisted that I wear &#8212; seemed to frustrate her greatly. She frisked and prodded and kneaded through the layers of fabric. <em>To call it &#8216;rummaging&#8217; would cheapen the encounter<\/em>, so&#8230; it was rummaging.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Into the shower!&#8221; she suddenly commanded. &#8220;Turn it on. Use the most erotic nozzle setting!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>This being a Contrarian airship, it had Contrarian plumbing. At one time I&#8217;d been fairly adept at using such fixtures, but now I strained to recall where <em>the dilating-pipes entered the main apparatus<\/em>, because that would dictate whether we got scalded or ice-blasted. Plus I was still surreptitiously perusing the pasta sauce recipe. To play for time I said, &#8220;These controls are a bit confusing, and I&#8217;m going to soak up all the water anyway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>I&#8217;m hearing a lot of excuses<\/em>,&#8221; Titania growled. The nanobots inhabiting my innermost garments signaled her impatience.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>her suggestion of \u201cDeep Fried Ice Cream Tacos\u201d I am the fucking law To call it \u2018rummaging\u2019 would cheapen the encounter the dilating-pipes entered the main apparatus I\u2019m hearing a lot of excuses Tune in next time part 850 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments As far as I knew, Titania was not a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403,486],"class_list":["post-9732","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-zeppelin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9732","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9732"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9732\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9744,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9732\/revisions\/9744"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9732"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9732"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9732"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}