{"id":9688,"date":"2023-10-16T08:44:28","date_gmt":"2023-10-16T12:44:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=9688"},"modified":"2023-10-15T14:53:30","modified_gmt":"2023-10-15T18:53:30","slug":"how-could-i-possibly-choose-a-winner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/how-could-i-possibly-choose-a-winner\/","title":{"rendered":"How Could I Possibly Choose a Winner?"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>boring, non-inflatable-object-related reasons<\/li>\n<li>whipped out her dagger<\/li>\n<li>portrait of a marriage in trouble<\/li>\n<li>very-large-scale sculptures of robots<\/li>\n<li>rise out of the mud like a lotus flower<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 843 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>How could I possibly choose a winner? All of the children were equally, adorably, untalented. I closed my eyes, and pictured my mind as a fertile field, hoping that an idea would <em>rise out of the mud like a lotus flower<\/em>. My thoughts were so disordered that, instead, the only things to erupt from the soggy earth were <em>very-large-scale sculptures of robots<\/em>, ready for battle.<\/p>\n<p>Unable to resist Fleur&#8217;s hypnotic command any longer, I mumbled into the microphone,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;In third place is Yolanda&#8217;s son &#8212;\u00a0Not that one, but the other one.<\/p>\n<p>In second place is Olga&#8217;s daughter &#8212; in the dress her mother bought her.<\/p>\n<p>And in first, babe of Isolde &#8212; pick one from her numbers untold.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>There were gasps and cheers and boos. I could tell from one glance at Fleur that our relationship was the very <em>portrait of a marriage in trouble<\/em>. I should have chosen one of her children as the winner, but I didn&#8217;t, and now she <em>whipped out her dagger<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Watch where you&#8217;re waving that thing,&#8221; I cried. &#8220;We&#8217;re in a zeppelin!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Her lips twitched in the faintest smile. &#8220;Fool! I will deal with you later. For now I will only use my dagger for the most <em>boring, non-inflatable-object-related reasons<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The cake replica of the zeppelin was brought onstage, and Fleur drove her blade straight into it, cutting off a large chunk to present to Isolde.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>boring, non-inflatable-object-related reasons whipped out her dagger portrait of a marriage in trouble very-large-scale sculptures of robots rise out of the mud like a lotus flower Tune in next time part 843 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments How could I possibly choose a winner? All of the children were equally, adorably, untalented. I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-9688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9688"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9688\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9694,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9688\/revisions\/9694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}