{"id":9497,"date":"2023-08-07T08:23:49","date_gmt":"2023-08-07T12:23:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=9497"},"modified":"2023-06-04T14:55:57","modified_gmt":"2023-06-04T18:55:57","slug":"the-infant-talent-show","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/the-infant-talent-show\/","title":{"rendered":"The Infant Talent Show"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>gracefully choreographed free-for-all<\/li>\n<li>new and pink and chubby<\/li>\n<li>presented with a trashcan lid-sized plate of steamed broccoli<\/li>\n<li>For years, I\u2019ve gotten drunk and told the story<\/li>\n<li>and gloves without fingers<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 823 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The infant talent show turned out to be a <em>gracefully choreographed free-for-all<\/em>. First place went to the choreographer, a baby girl all <em>new and pink and chubby<\/em>. She and her mother, Isolde, were <em>presented with a trashcan lid-sized plate of steamed broccoli<\/em> and a teeny tiny tiara. There was a lot of grumbling amongst the mothers over the fact that Isolde&#8217;s baby won, since the talent show was her idea in the first place, but Isolde claimed that it couldn&#8217;t possibly have been rigged due to the sheer number of babies she had and how she couldn&#8217;t possibly choose a favorite among them.<\/p>\n<p><em>For years, I&#8217;ve gotten drunk and told the story<\/em> of my own childhood in a family full of twins and triplets, and how the only way I could find to distinguish myself from Jason was to wear a vest <em>and gloves without fingers<\/em> while he wore sleeves with no shirt and little socks on his fingers. All this squabbling reminded me of that, and I felt sorry for all the also-rans. Every child needs a time to shine.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Instead of one big dance number,&#8221; I said, &#8220;let&#8217;s let each baby perform solo!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>gracefully choreographed free-for-all new and pink and chubby presented with a trashcan lid-sized plate of steamed broccoli For years, I\u2019ve gotten drunk and told the story and gloves without fingers Tune in next time part 823 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments The infant talent show turned out to be a gracefully choreographed free-for-all. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,341,403,486],"class_list":["post-9497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-clothes","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-zeppelin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9497"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9497\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9520,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9497\/revisions\/9520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}