{"id":9392,"date":"2023-06-07T08:24:44","date_gmt":"2023-06-07T12:24:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=9392"},"modified":"2023-05-10T21:30:47","modified_gmt":"2023-05-11T01:30:47","slug":"that-would-be-cruel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/that-would-be-cruel\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;That Would Be Cruel&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>shook his butt<\/li>\n<li>walk around in ugly pajamas<\/li>\n<li>rhythm helps your two hips move<\/li>\n<li>writhed around like he was being electrocuted<\/li>\n<li>focusing less on his lemon<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 806 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That would be cruel,&#8221; Tessa chided. &#8220;First we shoot them with blowdarts, and then we just abandon them to post-polarization syndrome?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You shot them with blowdarts,&#8221; I corrected. &#8220;Feel free to lay the abandonment entirely on me and we&#8217;ll call it even.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s not how it works. We&#8217;re in this together.&#8221; She hopped off her barstool and danced across the chapel to where Rosencrantz was flailing about on his couch. She jostled the couch forcefully, which <em>shook his butt<\/em> right off it.<\/p>\n<p>He was too woozy to stand on his own, but sharp enough to give me the stinkeye and say, &#8220;You must have some reason to <em>walk around in ugly pajamas<\/em> all day.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m dressed as a scientist,&#8221; I complained.<\/p>\n<p>Meanwhile Tessa had gone to the other couch and dislodged its lanky occupant. As she shoved on the couch, she explained to him, &#8220;The <em>rhythm helps your two hips move<\/em> out of the polarization zone.&#8221; He sprawled on the floor. &#8220;Hey, Seahorse,&#8221; Tessa called. &#8220;How we doing with those pickles?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Calm down, Enzo.&#8221; Against my better judgment I took a couple of gherkins and some fruit garnishes over to Rosenkrantz. He first tried to bite my hand, then <em>writhed around like he was being electrocuted<\/em> in order to fend off my efforts at feeding him. He seized a wedge of citrus from me and tried to weaponize its juice, aiming for my eyes. He only managed to stain my lab coat, but by then I was <em>focusing less on his lemon<\/em> and more on the newest arrival in the pickle chapel.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>shook his butt walk around in ugly pajamas rhythm helps your two hips move writhed around like he was being electrocuted focusing less on his lemon Tune in next time part 806 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;That would be cruel,&#8221; Tessa chided. &#8220;First we shoot them with blowdarts, and then we just [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-9392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9392"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9415,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9392\/revisions\/9415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}