{"id":9310,"date":"2023-04-12T08:23:04","date_gmt":"2023-04-12T12:23:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=9310"},"modified":"2023-04-10T21:43:27","modified_gmt":"2023-04-11T01:43:27","slug":"if-youre-like-most-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/if-youre-like-most-people\/","title":{"rendered":"If You&#8217;re Like Most People"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>violent constipation<\/li>\n<li>I know what a kitchen is for<\/li>\n<li>he\u2019s\u2026 \u201cpassionate\u201d\u2026 about\u2026 fish?<\/li>\n<li>\u201cObserve: a perfectly shaped square.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>movie stars with long hair, rosy cheeks, and beards<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 790 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re like most people, you&#8217;ve given a lot of thought to what someone who lurks in the shadowy recesses of a pickle chapel should look like. And, how someone whose greetings are vulgar and hostile should dress. In neither case do you probably expect <em>movie stars with long hair, rosy cheeks, and beards<\/em> that could conceal adult raccoons.<\/p>\n<p>The owner of the booming voice was a hairy adonis, as was his companion. Both men held up their left hands, palm outward. Booming-voice said, <em>&#8220;Observe: a perfectly shaped square.&#8221;<\/em> Inked onto his palm was a lopsided oval that might have been an eggplant. The other man&#8217;s hand displayed a horseshoe, complete with nail holes.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Who are you?&#8221; I demanded. Under my breath I added, &#8220;And who taught you geometry?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;All things are squares to us, for we are Right Anglers. Your ass-kicking is the thing I&#8217;m second-most passionate about, right behind our finny underwater friends.&#8221; He stood, and I was startled by how little difference it made. His companion, however, was fully a head taller than me.<\/p>\n<p>I tried to inventory the situation, but it\u00a0made no sense at all. I&#8217;ve never heard of this guy, but he wants to kick my ass, and <em>he&#8217;s&#8230; &#8220;passionate&#8221;&#8230; about&#8230; fish?<\/em> Then what&#8217;s he doing on an airship? Now he&#8217;s coming toward me, so I better do something.<\/p>\n<p>My favorite stance for unarmed combat was the one they called a kitchen in my dojo. There were all kinds of other options, from powder rooms to breakfast nooks, but their purposes were never clear to me. <em>I know what a kitchen is for<\/em>: not getting my ass kicked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ugh, men!&#8221; Tessa huffed. &#8220;Your emotional landscapes are nothing but <em>violent constipation<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>violent constipation I know what a kitchen is for he\u2019s\u2026 \u201cpassionate\u201d\u2026 about\u2026 fish? \u201cObserve: a perfectly shaped square.\u201d movie stars with long hair, rosy cheeks, and beards Tune in next time part 790 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments If you&#8217;re like most people, you&#8217;ve given a lot of thought to what someone who [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-9310","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9310","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9310"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9313,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9310\/revisions\/9313"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9310"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9310"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}