{"id":8889,"date":"2022-11-16T08:32:25","date_gmt":"2022-11-16T13:32:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8889"},"modified":"2022-10-23T16:13:10","modified_gmt":"2022-10-23T20:13:10","slug":"i-held-one-finger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-held-one-finger\/","title":{"rendered":"I Held One Finger"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>I\u2019m not fucking Rembrandt.<\/li>\n<li>is kind of a ding-dong<\/li>\n<li>leotard out of my butt<\/li>\n<li>the murder charges were dropped<\/li>\n<li>\u201cShut the hell up.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 748 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I held one finger up to Tessa&#8217;s lips as the footsteps grew nearer. We both held our breath waiting to see who would burst through the door, but the footsteps kept going along the hallway. I needed a silent way to tell Tessa to hide under the bed while I went out to check on the children. But of all the esoteric nonverbal codes we both learned at the Academy, none of them seemed to suit our situation. I grabbed the airship stationery pad from my nightstand, and found that Tessa&#8217;s continuing pelvic undulations made it impossible to remember how to spell any useful words. So I tried to draw a picture of those instructions.<\/p>\n<p>After studying the page for several thrusts, Tessa whispered, &#8220;Clearly <em>I&#8217;m not fucking Rembrandt.<\/em> Now are you going to help me search for my therapist, or am I going to have to play rough?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I shushed her again, but my eyes rolling back in my head robbed the command of authority. Tessa&#8217;s breathy whisper nearly sent me over the edge. &#8220;I wouldn&#8217;t worry about that sister-in-law of yours. She <em>is kind of a ding-dong<\/em>, you must admit. Although, I guess I should be nicer since she did help me pull my <em>leotard out of my butt<\/em> not too long ago.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I went over the edge. Tessa quickly put a pillow over my face to muffle my incohate expressions of ecstasy. She held it there for what felt like a very long time, and as I was on the verge of passing out I wondered how she would evade capture unless <em>the murder charges were dropped<\/em>. But the pillow lifted away and I got oxygen, and the whole line of speculation became moot.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;This isn&#8217;t playing rough?&#8221; I asked softly.<\/p>\n<p>Tessa hissed, <em>&#8220;Shut the hell up.&#8221;<\/em> She raised herself up from my chest, listening. &#8220;That definitely isn&#8217;t Isolde out in the hallway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonust points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m not fucking Rembrandt. is kind of a ding-dong leotard out of my butt the murder charges were dropped \u201cShut the hell up.\u201d Tune in next time part 748 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I held one finger up to Tessa&#8217;s lips as the footsteps grew nearer. We both held our breath waiting [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-8889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8889"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8889\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8982,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8889\/revisions\/8982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}