{"id":8882,"date":"2022-10-24T08:36:18","date_gmt":"2022-10-24T12:36:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8882"},"modified":"2022-10-13T21:21:50","modified_gmt":"2022-10-14T01:21:50","slug":"perhaps-they-have-more-camembert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/perhaps-they-have-more-camembert\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Perhaps They Have More Camembert&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>My shaman and I<\/li>\n<li>Since being bludgeoned by the octopus<\/li>\n<li>not, however, universally popular among actual rappers<\/li>\n<li>\u201cScrew you guys, I\u2019m going home.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>with a plaster cast of her dead husband\u2019s hand<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 741 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Perhaps they have more camembert in the galley,&#8221; I said as calmly as I could. I tried to arrange the babies above water and my legs underwater to thwart Fleur&#8217;s probing hands. The last thing I needed was for her to find Tessa now.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>My shaman and I<\/em>solde both told me today would be a good day,&#8221; Fleur pouted. &#8220;<em>Since being bludgeoned by the octopus<\/em> at the zamboni entrance is a good omen, I believed them. Like a fool.&#8221; She stared into my eyes and said forlornly, &#8220;The magic camembert is gone. Jason ate all of it but that one last piece.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I should have foreseen that. THC-laced cheeses are hot on the wedding rap circuit, even if they are <em>not, however, universally popular among actual rappers<\/em>.\u00a0&#8220;Is Jason still aboard?&#8221; I asked. &#8220;You could have him searched for any cheese he might be smuggling.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No,&#8221; Fleur said. &#8220;When I wouldn&#8217;t let him have that last wedge, he said, <em>&#8216;Screw you guys, I\u2019m going home.&#8217;<\/em> and strapped on a parachute.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I was desperate to get the sisters out of my bathroom so I could get Tessa out of my bathtub. I was so desperate that I decided to lie. &#8220;On my rounds earlier I saw a cheese hamper under the portrait of your grandmother. You know, the one <em>with a plaster cast of her dead husband\u2019s hand<\/em> on top of her head.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Her coronation portrait?&#8221; Fleur was intrigued. The drugs in her system were working in my favor. &#8220;I&#8217;ll send someone to check.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you think you had better go yourself? You don&#8217;t want anyone else to bogart it. Isolde can go with you to help you carry it. It looked like an awfully heavy cheese hamper.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My gorgeous sister-in-law cocked one eyebrow at me. Perhaps I&#8217;d pushed things too far.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My shaman and I Since being bludgeoned by the octopus not, however, universally popular among actual rappers \u201cScrew you guys, I\u2019m going home.\u201d with a plaster cast of her dead husband\u2019s hand Tune in next time part 741 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;Perhaps they have more camembert in the galley,&#8221; I said [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,550,350,403,486],"class_list":["post-8882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-cheese","tag-sister","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-zeppelin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8882","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8882"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8882\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8907,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8882\/revisions\/8907"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8882"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8882"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8882"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}