{"id":8870,"date":"2022-10-10T08:50:57","date_gmt":"2022-10-10T12:50:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8870"},"modified":"2022-10-09T19:36:25","modified_gmt":"2022-10-09T23:36:25","slug":"being-a-father-wasnt-my-lifes-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/being-a-father-wasnt-my-lifes-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"Being A Father Wasn&#8217;t My Life&#8217;s Dream"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>barreled into fatherhood<\/li>\n<li>collecting the frog juices<\/li>\n<li>slobbering over himself<\/li>\n<li>good old-fashioned jealousy<\/li>\n<li>got engaged two weeks after her sister<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 737 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Being a father wasn&#8217;t my life&#8217;s dream. I&#8217;d always had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about kids, and yet I <em>barreled into fatherhood<\/em> with such reckless abandon I had no idea whether this baby in the adorable little gold booties was one of mine.<\/p>\n<p>Fleur lifted the infant she held out of the water with one hand and patted its diaper with the other. &#8220;Good thing he&#8217;s got this <em>collecting the frog juices<\/em>.&#8221; She chuckled. She was more stoned than I&#8217;d ever seen her.<\/p>\n<p>The baby in my lap was <em>slobbering over himself<\/em>, fist crammed in his mouth. &#8220;Better slow down on the cheese, Fleur, or soon you&#8217;ll be drooling like this little guy.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As I expected, this made her immediately reach for the cheese. While she was distracted I signaled to Tessa that she could come up for air.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What is Isolde doing here?&#8221; she demanded in a whisper. If I didn&#8217;t know better I&#8217;d think my sweetie was suffering from <em>good old-fashioned jealousy<\/em>. Strange that it wasn&#8217;t my wife that brought it out in her, but my sister-in-law. But then I remembered that Tessa and John <em>got engaged two weeks after her sister<\/em> Tallulah married my brother Thor, which made her my sister-in-law. Was my sister-in-law&#8217;s sister also my sister-in-law?<\/p>\n<p>I shook my head to clear it. I hadn&#8217;t even eaten any of the camembert and I was still getting fucked up just being near it.<\/p>\n<p>I heard Isolde returning, presumably with towels.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>barreled into fatherhood collecting the frog juices slobbering over himself good old-fashioned jealousy got engaged two weeks after her sister Tune in next time part 737 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments Being a father wasn&#8217;t my life&#8217;s dream. I&#8217;d always had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about kids, and yet I barreled into fatherhood with [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,24,549,403,486],"class_list":["post-8870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-brother","tag-bubblier","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-zeppelin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8870"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8870\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8876,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8870\/revisions\/8876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}