{"id":8825,"date":"2022-09-21T08:34:03","date_gmt":"2022-09-21T12:34:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8825"},"modified":"2022-09-19T22:47:05","modified_gmt":"2022-09-20T02:47:05","slug":"i-knew-tessa-could-hold-her-breath","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-knew-tessa-could-hold-her-breath\/","title":{"rendered":"I Knew Tessa Could Hold Her Breath"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>sex involves two people<\/li>\n<li>in the middle of the Tate modern<\/li>\n<li>all the edibles I can eat<\/li>\n<li>jazz appreciation class<\/li>\n<li>the elderly cheese inspector<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 732 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I knew Tessa could hold her breath for several minutes, and presumably her cybernetic doppelgangers didn&#8217;t need air at all. There was no need to panic provided I talked Fleur out of getting into the tub.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Darling,&#8221; I said with a flutter of my eyelids, &#8220;wouldn&#8217;t the bed be more suitable? I&#8217;ll join you as soon as I&#8217;m clean.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She gave me a cockeyed grin and began to strip. I realized I had miscalculated. For most people, the notion of <em>sex involves two people<\/em> somewhere cozy and private. But for Fleur, it might involve multiple rugby teams <em>in the middle of the Tate modern<\/em>. While I spluttered helplessly and continued holding Tessa&#8217;s head underwater, Fleur finished undressing and put a toe into the suds.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Nice and warm,&#8221; she cooed.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hang on,&#8221; I said. &#8220;My contract as commander of the comedy garrisons entitles me to <em>all the edibles I can eat<\/em>. And yet, there are none. I couldn&#8217;t share a bath with someone who&#8217;s in breach of contract.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My wife narrowed her eyes at me. &#8220;Why didn&#8217;t you bring this up sooner? Where do you expect me to get them while we&#8217;re in flight?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Probably on the bridge,&#8221; I said with a smirk. &#8220;Oh, also, I need you to get yourself signed up for a <em>jazz appreciation class<\/em> before you come back. That&#8217;s in my contract, too.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It wasn&#8217;t, though, and she knew it. I had overstepped. I held my breath even though mine wasn&#8217;t the head below the surface. But she drew her foot back and wrapped herself up in my robe and left the bathroom.<\/p>\n<p>I lifted my hand so Tessa could sit up. She glared at me through the curtain of sudsy water draining from her hair. Then we heard Fleur&#8217;s voice, and Tessa ducked back down.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Actually,&#8221; Fleur was saying as she came back into the bathroom, tucking her phone into a pocket of the robe, &#8220;seems like the galley has the best hookup for your&#8230; contractual fulfillments. Thing is, they have multiple kinds. How are you with fermented dairy? My connection is recommending a Camembert-based infusion. He can&#8217;t say how far out of code it is, but assures me it got a passing grade from <em>the elderly cheese inspector<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Maybe you should sample it,&#8221; I enthused. &#8220;Take your time.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>sex involves two people in the middle of the Tate modern all the edibles I can eat jazz appreciation class the elderly cheese inspector Tune in next time part 732 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I knew Tessa could hold her breath for several minutes, and presumably her cybernetic doppelgangers didn&#8217;t need air [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,342,403],"class_list":["post-8825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-food","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8825"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8825\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8830,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8825\/revisions\/8830"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}