{"id":8660,"date":"2022-06-29T08:36:12","date_gmt":"2022-06-29T12:36:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8660"},"modified":"2022-06-28T18:39:27","modified_gmt":"2022-06-28T22:39:27","slug":"by-the-fiftieth-time-through","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/by-the-fiftieth-time-through\/","title":{"rendered":"By the Fiftieth Time Through"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>pontoon bridge over a hidden<\/li>\n<li>sculpted entirely out of butter<\/li>\n<li>stuck their noses in each other\u2019s<\/li>\n<li>narcotic-fueled bacchanals<\/li>\n<li>I really don\u2019t need to know about your weird sex life<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 708 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>By the fiftieth time through that intro, I was becoming actively terrified of this pianist as her savage facial expression became ever harder to decipher. The delay in delivering my beverage hinted that the waiter had to cross a <em>pontoon bridge over a hidden<\/em> chasm somewhere deep in the bowels of the airship. Singing without it was unthinkable, so all I could do was wait.<\/p>\n<p>Wait, and endure the pianist&#8217;s glare. I felt like a rabbit in front of a she-wolf, if the rabbit were <em>sculpted entirely out of butter<\/em> and the she-wolf&#8217;s eyes were heat lamps. Those opening bars of the Major-General&#8217;s Song, repeating again and again, made me dizzy. I tried to focus on memorizing the lyrics, but my thoughts were like dogs that <em>stuck their noses in each other&#8217;s<\/em> butts and went around and around in circles. My accompanist seethed at me, striking the keys ferociously, but all I could envision was accompanying her to <em>narcotic-fueled bacchanals<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>At last the waiter returned with the Mountain Dew. &#8220;Thanks,&#8221; I said. &#8220;Right now this is what I need more than anything else in the world.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>I really don&#8217;t need to know about your weird sex life<\/em>,&#8221; he replied.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<div class=\"content\">\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>pontoon bridge over a hidden sculpted entirely out of butter stuck their noses in each other\u2019s narcotic-fueled bacchanals I really don\u2019t need to know about your weird sex life Tune in next time part 708 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments By the fiftieth time through that intro, I was becoming actively terrified of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-8660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8660","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8660"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8665,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8660\/revisions\/8665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}