{"id":8639,"date":"2022-06-13T15:13:53","date_gmt":"2022-06-13T19:13:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8639"},"modified":"2022-06-13T15:13:53","modified_gmt":"2022-06-13T19:13:53","slug":"8639-my-ceremonial-pajamas-were-polka-dotted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/8639-my-ceremonial-pajamas-were-polka-dotted\/","title":{"rendered":"My Ceremonial Pajamas were Polka-Dotted"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>Grandma wore a black, beaded, sequined wedding gown<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m going to remember tonight forever<\/li>\n<li>describing him as a drunken maniac<\/li>\n<li>jack-in-the-box wound to the breaking point<\/li>\n<li>joke about having sex with bigfoot<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 703 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My ceremonial pajamas were polka-dotted, and of the footie variety, with a sash for my medals. I hurried to the reception, wondering about the message on the mirror. Was it true? Could the marriage still be stopped?<\/p>\n<p>When I burst into the ballroom, Mother and John were in the process of handing each other small metal tins. I was too late! They&#8217;d exchanged snuffboxes! To make things worse, they were surrounded by my many, many children.<\/p>\n<p>Mother looked at the army of babies and said, &#8220;I hope you will all remember that <em>Grandma wore a black, beaded, sequined wedding gown<\/em>, and that she looked damn fine.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I know <em>I&#8217;m going to remember tonight forever<\/em>,&#8221; said John with a lewd wink.<\/p>\n<p>I tried to push my way through the crowd to reach them, still hoping to somehow stop things. Mother took up a microphone and gave a toast about her new husband, <em>describing him as a drunken maniac<\/em> who won her heart in a game of snooker. I was so upset I felt like a <em>jack-in-the-box wound to the breaking point<\/em>, and that was before my mother praised John&#8217;s hairy chest and made a <em>joke about having sex with bigfoot<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Mother!&#8221; I yelled at the top of my lungs. &#8220;Not in front of the children!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandma wore a black, beaded, sequined wedding gown I\u2019m going to remember tonight forever describing him as a drunken maniac jack-in-the-box wound to the breaking point joke about having sex with bigfoot Tune in next time part 703 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments My ceremonial pajamas were polka-dotted, and of the footie variety, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,341,403,441],"class_list":["post-8639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-clothes","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-wedding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8639"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8644,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8639\/revisions\/8644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}