{"id":8401,"date":"2022-02-07T08:52:03","date_gmt":"2022-02-07T13:52:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8401"},"modified":"2022-02-06T17:29:09","modified_gmt":"2022-02-06T22:29:09","slug":"and-what-sort-of-uniqueness-do-you-bring-to-the-festivities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/and-what-sort-of-uniqueness-do-you-bring-to-the-festivities\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;And What Sort of Uniqueness Do You Bring to the Festivities?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>\u201cValentina, your hands are a distraction.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>biggest snake ever<\/li>\n<li>under the covers late into the night<\/li>\n<li>you\u2019re supposed to throw the first pancake away<\/li>\n<li>I appreciate the tongue being so firmly in the cheek<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 667 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And what sort of uniqueness do you bring to the festivities?&#8221; I asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m double-jointed!&#8221; Dr Ferguson demonstrated, flexing and contorting her fingers into many unnatural positions.<\/p>\n<p>The speaker in the ceiling crackled. <em>&#8220;Valentina, your hands are a distraction.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Valentina Ferguson&#8217;s digits all snapped back into human-like shape and she glared up at one of the cameras. &#8220;I realize he doesn&#8217;t have the <em>biggest snake ever<\/em> seen on this show, but there&#8217;s no way my hands were obscuring it completely.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Had she just insulted my genitals?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Valentina, please,&#8221; the ceiling voice griped. &#8220;Get on with it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Valentina turned back to me. &#8220;He never complains about my fingers when we&#8217;re naked together <em>under the covers late into the night<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;For the show?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Of course not! He&#8217;s my second husband.&#8221; She wiggled her left ring finger in front of my face like an eel. &#8220;I don&#8217;t have a wedding ring because it just wouldn&#8217;t stay on.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I eyed her hypnotic digits. &#8220;What happened to your first husband?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Husbands are a lot like pancakes.&#8221; She laughed at my confusion. &#8220;<em>You&#8217;re supposed to throw the first pancake away<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Get on with it!&#8221; shrieked the ceiling.<\/p>\n<p>Valentina shrugged and planted an openmouthed kiss on me. She tasted vaguely of my toes, but that was an improvement over the slug from earlier.<\/p>\n<p>From the speaker in the ceiling, her husband gave direction. &#8220;<em>I appreciate the tongue being so firmly in the cheek<\/em>. Keep it there as the slugs are applied.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cValentina, your hands are a distraction.\u201d biggest snake ever under the covers late into the night you\u2019re supposed to throw the first pancake away I appreciate the tongue being so firmly in the cheek Tune in next time part 667 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;And what sort of uniqueness do you bring [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,182,545,403],"class_list":["post-8401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-sex","tag-slugs","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8401"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8408,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8401\/revisions\/8408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}