{"id":8259,"date":"2021-11-29T08:28:50","date_gmt":"2021-11-29T13:28:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8259"},"modified":"2021-11-28T15:12:49","modified_gmt":"2021-11-28T20:12:49","slug":"my-heart-was-neither-open-nor-vulnerable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/my-heart-was-neither-open-nor-vulnerable\/","title":{"rendered":"My Heart Was Neither Open Nor Vulnerable"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>with a surrealist spirit and a beret<\/li>\n<li>but I only have so many middle fingers<\/li>\n<li>carrying a rubber dinosaur between them<\/li>\n<li>connected to a 1948 zoo escape<\/li>\n<li>\u2014that particular blend of anticipation and fear<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 647 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>My heart was neither open nor vulnerable, so my attempt at a new surname came\u00a0<em>with a surrealist spirit and a beret<\/em> (of the imaginary variety).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It is not possible to marry three such distinct names verbally,&#8221; I said. &#8220;I will use the medium of hand gestures, <em>but I only have so many middle fingers<\/em>, and you&#8217;ll need to imagine I am <em>carrying a rubber dinosaur between them<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As I flipped off the assembled crowd under the guise of a shadow puppet recounting of the gory escapades <em>connected to a 1948 zoo escape<\/em>, I backed toward the door. Chartreuse and Hildegard raised their own hands, attempting to imitate my motions, while everyone else stared open-mouthed <em>&#8211;that particular blend of anticipation and fear<\/em> that only a good zoo escape story can bring.<\/p>\n<p>As I was about to dart into the corridor and make my getaway, I remembered where I&#8217;d seen Dr Ferguson before. I slapped myself on the forehead, and Hildegard and Chartreuse followed suit. Dr Ferguson&#8217;s lips twitched.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>with a surrealist spirit and a beret but I only have so many middle fingers carrying a rubber dinosaur between them connected to a 1948 zoo escape \u2014that particular blend of anticipation and fear Tune in next time part 647 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments My heart was neither open nor vulnerable, so [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[257,441],"class_list":["post-8259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-rubber-dinosaur","tag-wedding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8259"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8259\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8275,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8259\/revisions\/8275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}