{"id":8247,"date":"2021-11-22T11:08:15","date_gmt":"2021-11-22T16:08:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8247"},"modified":"2021-11-28T14:42:45","modified_gmt":"2021-11-28T19:42:45","slug":"the-only-clothes-i-had-available","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/the-only-clothes-i-had-available\/","title":{"rendered":"The Only Clothes I Had Available"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>we are famous for our punctuality<\/li>\n<li>shoulder-length hair and softer features<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI can\u2019t believe people actually buy this.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>a lot of celebrities<\/li>\n<li>create a new surname entirely<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 645 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The only clothes I had available were the ridiculous tinseled ankle cuffs I&#8217;d worn to the wedding, and without a fan to lift the streamers they were not only useless but a tripping hazard. While Dr Ferguson watched with keen interest, I wrapped the relatively pudding-free duvet around myself like a big puffy toga and secured it with a tinsel belt.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Surprisingly stylish,&#8221; Dr Ferguson admitted.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;In my family <em>we are famous for our punctuality<\/em> and our fashion sense,&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You look so much like your brother,&#8221; she sighed, &#8220;Only with <em>shoulder-length hair and softer features<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Which of my brothers did she mean?<\/p>\n<p>From his seat on the ottoman, Spex held up an empty butterscotch pudding tin. <em>&#8220;I can&#8217;t believe people actually buy this.&#8221;<\/em> He wrinkled his nose. &#8220;Homemade is so much better.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I tried to tune out his snotty comments and figure out why Dr Ferguson was so familiar. I frequent all the cool websites, so of course I know about <em>a lot of celebrities<\/em> in the ophthalmological world. She was not one of them.<\/p>\n<p>Hildegard&#8217;s father stumbled over, drunk on peanut butter. &#8220;What a mouthful it will be to hyphenate Pamplemousse, van der Zh\u00f6\u00df\u00e6ngr\u00fc\u00fcp\u00e5bergschl\u00f8ssenfu\u00dfmeister, and your last name. You ought to <em>create a new surname entirely<\/em>!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Oh shit. How had I not known that Hildegard was a van der Zh\u00f6\u00df\u00e6ngr\u00fc\u00fcp\u00e5rbergschl\u00f8ssenfu\u00dfmeister? Had I known from the start she was a van der Zh\u00f6\u00df\u00e6ngr\u00fc\u00fcp\u00e5bergschl\u00f8ssenfu\u00dfmeister things would have gone entirely differently.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>we are famous for our punctuality shoulder-length hair and softer features \u201cI can\u2019t believe people actually buy this.\u201d a lot of celebrities create a new surname entirely Tune in next time part 645 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments The only clothes I had available were the ridiculous tinseled ankle cuffs I&#8217;d worn to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,328,341,403],"class_list":["post-8247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-celebrity","tag-clothes","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8247"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8274,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8247\/revisions\/8274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}