{"id":8139,"date":"2021-10-04T08:34:28","date_gmt":"2021-10-04T12:34:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8139"},"modified":"2021-10-04T09:23:53","modified_gmt":"2021-10-04T13:23:53","slug":"i-didnt-like-the-way-hildegard-kept-insisting-we-were-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-didnt-like-the-way-hildegard-kept-insisting-we-were-married\/","title":{"rendered":"I Didn&#8217;t Like the Way Hildegard Kept Insisting We were Married"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>attempting to impose a sense of order and restraint on what is inherently an indulgent act<\/li>\n<li>I was in a very famous TV show<\/li>\n<li>a clown doll that sings<\/li>\n<li>took them to a houseboat<\/li>\n<li>complicated and bizarre<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 631 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I didn&#8217;t like the way Hildegard kept insisting we were married, but I liked even less how she kept trying to help me pee. She assured me she was merely <em>attempting to impose a sense of order and restraint on what is inherently an indulgent act<\/em>. I disagreed that solo urination was indulgent at all. If we were, in fact, legally married, this was proof that it would never work.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Tell me about yourself,&#8221; I said, hoping she&#8217;d get distracted and I&#8217;d be able to pee in peace.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;When I was a child <em>I was in a very famous TV show<\/em> here in Bumpengrynd. My costars were <em>a clown doll that sings<\/em> German folk songs, and a little old sea captain. The sea captain collected orphans, including myself and the singing clown doll, and <em>took them to a houseboat<\/em> in the lagoon where he made us all wear wooden shoes while he cooked spaghetti, wrote sinister poems, and painted imaginary landscapes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It sounds\u00a0<em>complicated and bizarre<\/em>.&#8221; I said. &#8220;What was it called?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>attempting to impose a sense of order and restraint on what is inherently an indulgent act I was in a very famous TV show a clown doll that sings took them to a houseboat complicated and bizarre Tune in next time part 631 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I didn&#8217;t like the way [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[357,91,142,403],"class_list":["post-8139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-boat","tag-bonus-points","tag-clown","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8139"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8139\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8154,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8139\/revisions\/8154"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}