{"id":8036,"date":"2021-07-21T08:49:47","date_gmt":"2021-07-21T12:49:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=8036"},"modified":"2021-07-21T10:38:57","modified_gmt":"2021-07-21T14:38:57","slug":"the-tunnel-ended","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/the-tunnel-ended\/","title":{"rendered":"The Tunnel Ended"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>The sex fundamentals you\u2019re about to learn<\/li>\n<li>between musical numbers<\/li>\n<li>knowledge of hidden things<\/li>\n<li>\u201cIt is no longer open-faced.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m sorry, I have a cold<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 616 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The tunnel ended at a flap of plywood held shut only by the dense layer of cobwebs I had to fight through to push it open. I got my first look at Twerkistan, and my first whiff of its brimstone-tinged smog.<\/p>\n<p>I had emerged into a narrow alleyway, and all I could see at the end of it was the blazing marquee of the theatre across the street. Moving out onto the sidewalk I read the name of the show: &#8220;How To Do It.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>No one manned the box office. No usher asked me for a ticket. The theatre&#8217;s seats were all empty, but the performance was in progress on the stage. It sounded like I hadn&#8217;t missed much, as the emcee was still explaining the premise.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>The sex fundamentals you&#8217;re about to learn<\/em> &#8212; in <em>between musical numbers<\/em> where the choreography should help to clarify some of the more abstract principles &#8212; will arm you with a <em>knowledge of hidden things<\/em> that will give you a frankly unfair advantage in the mating scene.&#8221; He gestured grandly all around, especially up to the vacant balcony. &#8220;Oh, and before I forget, I must announce a change from what is printed in the program regarding Antionette&#8217;s sandwich in the second act.&#8221; He paused, presumably allowing the imaginary audience to thumb through their programs. Finally he delivered the actual news about the sandwich. <em>&#8220;It is no longer open-faced.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The orchestra unleashed a swirl of brass and strings, heralding the arrival of a few dozen athletic dancers. I could discern nothing of an instructional nature in their movements, but so far no &#8220;sex fundamentals&#8221; had been revealed for them to dance about.<\/p>\n<p>The emcee finally looked directly my way, saying, &#8220;It&#8217;s time to compare the final digits on your ticket stub to those of the person seated on your left.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I shrugged.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>I&#8217;m sorry, I have a cold<\/em>,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Try the person on your right.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I shrugged more elaborately, making sure it flowed as far as my elbows. &#8220;And anyway,&#8221; I said with a furtive glance around me, &#8220;no one in the audience has a ticket stub.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The sex fundamentals you\u2019re about to learn between musical numbers knowledge of hidden things \u201cIt is no longer open-faced.\u201d I\u2019m sorry, I have a cold Tune in next time part 616 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments The tunnel ended at a flap of plywood held shut only by the dense layer of cobwebs [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-8036","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8036","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8036"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8036\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8046,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8036\/revisions\/8046"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8036"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8036"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}