{"id":7801,"date":"2021-03-17T08:12:32","date_gmt":"2021-03-17T12:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=7801"},"modified":"2021-03-16T21:15:22","modified_gmt":"2021-03-17T01:15:22","slug":"remember-this-place-is-guarded-by-pirates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/remember-this-place-is-guarded-by-pirates\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Remember This Place Is Guarded By Pirates&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>and while they smell terrible<\/li>\n<li>They want very much to be pregnant<\/li>\n<li>the permanence that a tattoo offers<\/li>\n<li>determines if the story told will be epic or horrific<\/li>\n<li>shining jewel in the crown<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 580\u00a0<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Remember this place is guarded by pirates,&#8221; I wanted to say, but the bejeweled false teeth prevented it. I tried pantomime, but Tessa didn&#8217;t seem to understand. She descended the rope ladder and I had little choice but to follow. Brandita and the Baron remained unconscious on the living room floor.<\/p>\n<p>Stepping outside, we immediately found ourselves confronted by two elderly but heavily armed pirate wenches. The thing about these guards is that they&#8217;ve been seasoned by years in the salt wind, <em>and while they smell terrible<\/em> they are deadly with a blade. They are also not too bright, and Tessa easily talked us past them.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>They want very much to be pregnant<\/em>,&#8221; Tessa explained to me as she started up Brandita&#8217;s motorbike and I climbed into the bathtub-sidecar. Jeff was nowhere to be seen. This puzzled me, as I thought his haunting of the tub carried <em>the permanence that a tattoo offers<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Now that we were away from the guards, I spat out the sparkly chompers so I could speak. &#8220;We&#8217;re going to have quite a story to tell when we get back to civilization,&#8221; I said. She revved the engine. &#8220;You do know how to drive this thing, right?&#8221; I asked, knowing that her answer would be the sort of thing that <em>determines if the story told will be epic or horrific<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Her answer was to rocket us onto the precarious road at such alarming speed that I almost dropped the diamond-encrusted dentures. Sun glinted off a particularly impressive stone, the <em>shining jewel in the crown<\/em> of teeth.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>and while they smell terrible They want very much to be pregnant the permanence that a tattoo offers determines if the story told will be epic or horrific shining jewel in the crown Tune in next time part 580\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;Remember this place is guarded by pirates,&#8221; I wanted to say, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-7801","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7801","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7801"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7801\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7808,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7801\/revisions\/7808"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7801"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7801"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7801"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}