{"id":7764,"date":"2021-03-01T08:25:11","date_gmt":"2021-03-01T13:25:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=7764"},"modified":"2021-02-28T16:15:52","modified_gmt":"2021-02-28T21:15:52","slug":"i-dearly-wanted-to-get-off-this-island","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-dearly-wanted-to-get-off-this-island\/","title":{"rendered":"I Dearly Wanted to Get Off this Island"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>It was fine.<\/li>\n<li>crude message printed almost illegibly<\/li>\n<li>It\u2019s winter 9 months of the year here!<\/li>\n<li>not wear a t-rex costume to a wedding<\/li>\n<li>with the snake venom outside of your body<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 575<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I dearly wanted to get off this island, but I tried to play it cool with the Baron. Like I didn&#8217;t care either way. <em>It was fine.<\/em> I was fine. We were fine. I was wary of looking too eager before I heard his full proposal.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I see you are a shrewd man,&#8221; Baron von Dimpleheimer said. &#8220;And she is a shrewd robot. Allow me to lay out my proposal.&#8221; He crossed the room to a refrigerator made from a large, upturned treasure chest. Stuck to the front with a starfish-shaped magnet was a postcard with a <em>crude message printed almost illegibly<\/em> on the back. He brought the missive to me. On the front was an aerial photo of Enigma Fortress where I was supposed to be stationed. Emblazoned across the snowy landscape were the words &#8220;<em>It&#8217;s winter 9 months of the year here!<\/em>&#8221; in a jaunty font.\u00a0I flipped it over to read the chicken scratch on the back.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Dear Mum,<\/p>\n<p>Today I learnt that in the Paradoxica Mountains it is frownt upon to<em> not wear a t-rex costume to a wedding<\/em>. I have been arrested by the Royal Contrarian Fashion Police and am being held in this fortress. Please hire a fashionable barrister to argue my case.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The card was unsigned, but I recognized the terrible handwriting, and it left me with that feeling you get when you are bitten by a clumsy snake and you experience the pain of the fangs, but <em>with the snake venom outside of your body<\/em>, sizzling on your skin.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It was fine. crude message printed almost illegibly It\u2019s winter 9 months of the year here! not wear a t-rex costume to a wedding with the snake venom outside of your body Tune in next time part 575\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I dearly wanted to get off this island, but I tried to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,110,333,403],"class_list":["post-7764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-pirate","tag-royalty","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7764"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7764\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7767,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7764\/revisions\/7767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}