{"id":7701,"date":"2021-01-25T08:46:52","date_gmt":"2021-01-25T13:46:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=7701"},"modified":"2021-01-24T11:22:06","modified_gmt":"2021-01-24T16:22:06","slug":"the-hand-painted-pornographic-butterflies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/the-hand-painted-pornographic-butterflies\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hand-Painted Pornographic Butterflies"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>figure out where to put my fingertips<\/li>\n<li>\u201cYou\u2019re in trouble Kemosabe,\u201d<\/li>\n<li>trip to Hot Topic could sort you out<\/li>\n<li>he would learn of my sexuality<\/li>\n<li>your feet were just innocent bystanders<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 565<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The hand-painted pornographic butterflies flitting around my head were such a distraction I had trouble picking up the microphone. I couldn&#8217;t <em>figure out where to put my fingertips<\/em>, or my thumb. Svengorgian AV equipment is very confusing.<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;You&#8217;re in trouble Kemosabe,&#8221;<\/em> Tessa said with a smirk.<\/p>\n<p>My palms got sweaty, making the microphone even harder to grip. &#8220;You&#8217;re in trouble, Kemosabe&#8221; was Jason&#8217;s fastest, most tongue-twisting rap, and now that the bride herself had requested it there was no way I could get out of performing it. Why was she being so devilishly cruel?<\/p>\n<p>I launched into it. &#8220;A <em>trip to Hot Topic could sort you out<\/em>. You could freshen up your wardrobe without a doubt. The clerk &#8212; <em>he would learn of my sexuality<\/em>, and, Kemosabe, he would give you all those clothes for free!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>That was the easy part. The warm up. I started to feel the flow, and was rapping smoothly until I got to the part about trying on boots and forgot what rhymed with &#8220;y<em>our feet were just innocent bystanders<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I tried to improv it, but the whole wedding crowd was staring at me. Which they had probably already been doing since I was performing on stage, but I couldn&#8217;t be sure. Did they look more hostile than usual?<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>figure out where to put my fingertips \u201cYou\u2019re in trouble Kemosabe,\u201d trip to Hot Topic could sort you out he would learn of my sexuality your feet were just innocent bystanders Tune in next time part 565\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments The hand-painted pornographic butterflies flitting around my head were such a distraction I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,508,403,441],"class_list":["post-7701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-rap","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-wedding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7701"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7704,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7701\/revisions\/7704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}