{"id":7320,"date":"2020-07-06T12:44:42","date_gmt":"2020-07-06T16:44:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=7320"},"modified":"2020-07-13T14:27:22","modified_gmt":"2020-07-13T18:27:22","slug":"i-tried-to-ask-jason","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-tried-to-ask-jason\/","title":{"rendered":"I Tried to ask Jason"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>probably through some false pretense<\/li>\n<li>chocolate pudding<\/li>\n<li>truly excessive amount of farting<\/li>\n<li>depicted the Brady Bunch<\/li>\n<li>two years, ten months, and fifteen days ago<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 507 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I tried to ask Jason how he&#8217;d managed to get the dart-spitting toys installed in the nursery, but my mouth wouldn&#8217;t work. It was <em>probably through some false pretense<\/em>, and he would likely not tell me the details anyway.<\/p>\n<p>When I came to, my muscles felt like <em>chocolate pudding<\/em> and I was farting a lot. A lot a lot. It was a <em>truly excessive amount of farting<\/em>. Those symptoms helped me identify the tranquilizer in the darts, which did me little good.<\/p>\n<p>A shirtless man stood before me, his hairless chest covered with an elaborate tattoo that <em>depicted the Brady Bunch<\/em> on their Hawaiian vacation. The last time I saw this guy was <em>two years, ten months, and fifteen days ago<\/em>. He was not my biggest fan. I groaned. And farted.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>probably through some false pretense chocolate pudding truly excessive amount of farting depicted the Brady Bunch two years, ten months, and fifteen days ago Tune in next time part 507 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I tried to ask Jason how he&#8217;d managed to get the dart-spitting toys installed in the nursery, but [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[310,91,352,479,403],"class_list":["post-7320","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-blowgun","tag-bonus-points","tag-poison","tag-tattoo","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7320","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7320"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7320\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7325,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7320\/revisions\/7325"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7320"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7320"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7320"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}