{"id":7121,"date":"2020-03-18T08:49:07","date_gmt":"2020-03-18T12:49:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=7121"},"modified":"2020-03-16T17:53:52","modified_gmt":"2020-03-16T21:53:52","slug":"your-waterfowl-impression-is-horrible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/your-waterfowl-impression-is-horrible\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Your Waterfowl Impression is Horrible&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>spire composed of the twisted tails of four bronze dragons<\/li>\n<li>Swirly, swirly, swirly!<\/li>\n<li>charm the knickers off you<\/li>\n<li>a bastard by birth<\/li>\n<li>there\u2019s just no pleasing you<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 476 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Your waterfowl impression is horrible,&#8221; Oksana said.<\/p>\n<p>Jim pouted up at her. &#8220;I wonder sometimes why I bother, when <em>there&#8217;s just no pleasing you<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>At that she laughed, and even blushed a bit. &#8220;Is your memory so brief? Are you a simpleton by nature, or just <em>a bastard by birth<\/em>?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She must be getting this out of her system before presenting him for auction, I thought. Otherwise, she really needed to work on her sales pitch.<\/p>\n<p>In any case, Jim wasn&#8217;t offended. He chuckled low and throaty, saying, &#8220;I got birdcalls that could <em>charm the knickers off you<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Let&#8217;s hear one, then.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It was hard to know how much the drugs were contributing to Jim&#8217;s actions, and how much he was just making a spectacle of himself. He contorted his lips and emitted a trilling noise that sounded like a small child yelling &#8220;<em>Swirly, swirly, swirly!<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Oksana posed with her hand on her cocked hip, and threw back her head in maniacal glee.<\/p>\n<p>But I glanced around nervously. The weird trilling noise was, in fact, an uncanny rendition of an animal call I hadn&#8217;t heard in a long time, not since my brief stint at a monastery founded by a wealthy, eccentric Dane, where the cloister&#8217;s tower held a <em>spire composed of the twisted tails of four bronze dragons<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>How did Jim know the cry of the Himalayan Snowcock?<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>spire composed of the twisted tails of four bronze dragons Swirly, swirly, swirly! charm the knickers off you a bastard by birth there\u2019s just no pleasing you Tune in next time part 476 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;Your waterfowl impression is horrible,&#8221; Oksana said. Jim pouted up at her. &#8220;I wonder sometimes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,525,403],"class_list":["post-7121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-snowcock","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7121"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7126,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7121\/revisions\/7126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}