{"id":7030,"date":"2020-01-29T08:40:26","date_gmt":"2020-01-29T13:40:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=7030"},"modified":"2022-10-21T14:25:40","modified_gmt":"2022-10-21T18:25:40","slug":"isolde-grinned-up-at-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/isolde-grinned-up-at-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Isolde Grinned Up At Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>with a thin little nose between silver-rimmed spectacles<\/li>\n<li>So why did the building planners put two toilets in the same stall?<\/li>\n<li>They could&#8230; \u201cexperiment\u201d on you<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWash your face before you hug your mother,\u201d<\/li>\n<li>missing only one thing: a unicorn<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 462 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Isolde grinned up at me from the floor where she sat in a veritable heap of newborns.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Does this fortress have an obstetrician!&#8221; I bellowed.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Relax,&#8221; Isolde lilted. &#8220;I&#8217;ve already asked about it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A door opened and an elderly woman <em>with a thin little nose between silver-rimmed spectacles<\/em> marched in. Her ears bore multiple piercings, most of them festooned with shark&#8217;s teeth, and her exposed shoulders and forearms were coated in elaborate circus-themed tattoos. She tutted, drying her hands with a paper towel. &#8220;<em>So why did the building planners put two toilets in the same stall?<\/em> I&#8217;m serious here, I&#8217;m asking, so if some wise-ass says &#8216;to get to the other side&#8217; I&#8217;m turning right back around.&#8221; She fixed me with a look over the tops of her glasses. &#8220;Do you know? You look like you&#8217;re in charge around here. Anyway, it does create opportunities to get to know each other, if you&#8217;re open-minded.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Too many bizarre things had happened too rapidly, leaving my mind susceptible to her grandmotherly charm. Inwardly I stammered in search of an answer. They hoped it&#8230; They didn&#8217;t&#8230; <em>They could&#8230; &#8220;experiment&#8221; on you<\/em> in there? Fortunately none of it was out loud.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes, I&#8217;m an obstetrician, and I&#8217;m also a doula and a sixth-degree black belt and I&#8217;m here to save the day.&#8221; The old woman stooped and hefted one of the tiny babies. <em>&#8220;Wash your face before you hug your mother,&#8221;<\/em> the multi-talented fortress obstetrician said, producing a pack of sterile wipes from her bag and cleaning the infant all over.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Thank you,&#8221; Isolde said, accepting the clean babe while the woman proceeded to the next one. &#8220;What is your name?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You may address me as Doctor Nanna, all the cool kids are doing it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>In what seemed like no time at all Isolde cradled her entire litter, all cleaned up, and four footmen arrived with a palanquin to convey her to the nursery that I hadn&#8217;t known was being prepared for the royal rugrats. But Isolde clearly liked it, with all its cartoony clouds and candy-colored, trademark-infringing bears. So, I said, &#8220;I hope you like it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Doctor Nanna spoke up, saying, &#8220;Not too shabby. It&#8217;s <em>missing only one thing: a unicorn<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The twitch of her left eyelid might have been an incidental, involuntary thing, but for the fact that &#8220;missing a unicorn&#8221; was Hopscotch Academy slang that only the teachers had ever employed.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>with a thin little nose between silver-rimmed spectacles So why did the building planners put two toilets in the same stall? They could&#8230; \u201cexperiment\u201d on you \u201cWash your face before you hug your mother,\u201d missing only one thing: a unicorn Tune in next time part 462 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments Isolde grinned [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[535,91,403],"class_list":["post-7030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-birth","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7030"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7030\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8931,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7030\/revisions\/8931"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}