{"id":6970,"date":"2020-01-08T08:33:55","date_gmt":"2020-01-08T13:33:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=6970"},"modified":"2020-01-04T21:18:15","modified_gmt":"2020-01-05T02:18:15","slug":"i-heard-the-distinctive-tromping-cadence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-heard-the-distinctive-tromping-cadence\/","title":{"rendered":"I Heard the Distinctive Tromping Cadence"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>diplomats of any rank<\/li>\n<li>dissolved into just the notion of an omelette<\/li>\n<li>having an extra nipple<\/li>\n<li>recover hope all ye who enter here<\/li>\n<li>mind-bending music<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 456 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I heard the distinctive tromping cadence of a guard patrol in the corridor.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t move!&#8221; I barked at Arlo. Then I hauled the door open and summoned the guards into the room. &#8220;Arrest this foreign agitator!&#8221; I ordered.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Who, the yeti?&#8221; asked the first guard.<\/p>\n<p>Arlo had put the furry mask back on over his shiny bald head. Fine.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes, the yeti!&#8221; I said. A smile crept onto my face. &#8220;Arrest it, or, treat it in the customary manner. I am told that in the Paradoxica region, you use every part of the yeti.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Never mind that,&#8221; said the second guard. &#8220;But might I inquire as to your business in this tape storeroom? The signage clearly indicates&#8211;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I am a general, and I am in command of this fortress. That&#8217;s my business in this and every room. Is that clear?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Crystal, sir. Except, you see, while <em>diplomats of any rank<\/em> are free to peruse the tape stockpile, military personnel, including all officers, must be properly escorted.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I pinched the bridge of my nose. &#8220;Fine. Take the yeti and chop it up and throw it in the larder. Better yet, it&#8217;s fresh. Why not make stock? Simmer it until its bones have <em>dissolved into just the notion of an omelette<\/em>. I&#8217;ll worry about the glitter storm tape later.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>They rousted Arlo to his feet, him still making his pathetic imitation animal grunts. I was surprised he maintained the charade, given my suggestions for how to deal with a &#8216;yeti&#8217; like him.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Bit short for a yeti, isn&#8217;t he?&#8221; asked the first guard.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oy, ew!&#8221; exclaimed the other. &#8220;Can&#8217;t cook with any shrimpy yeti <em>having an extra nipple<\/em>. Too gamey!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The yeti costume worn by Arlo was indeed equipped with a supernumerary nipple. And in the armpit, a tattoo reading &#8220;<em>recover hope all ye who enter here<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I harrumphed. &#8220;In that case, let&#8217;s go back to where we started: arrest him!&#8221; And I yanked on the costume&#8217;s headpiece. It didn&#8217;t come off, and Arlo made sad whimpering noises.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No disrespect, sir, but we do try not to mistreat the yetis. We hunt them for sport and meat, sure. But we never pull their hair.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;This is no yeti,&#8221; I insisted, but they were openly doubtful. We were all interrupted by a new sound from the corridor, <em>mind-bending music<\/em> like a swarm of wasps skimming the inner contours of a sousaphone.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>diplomats of any rank dissolved into just the notion of an omelette having an extra nipple recover hope all ye who enter here mind-bending music Tune in next time part 456 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I heard the distinctive tromping cadence of a guard patrol in the corridor. &#8220;Don&#8217;t move!&#8221; I barked [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403,534],"class_list":["post-6970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-yeti"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6970","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6970"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6970\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6987,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6970\/revisions\/6987"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6970"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6970"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}